America and his United States
by JerichosPhantom
Summary: 50 states. 50 World Meetings. 50 Awkward Situations. USUK, Spamano, PruCan  will also be involved.
1. Prolouge

**Yo. I don't own anything. Plot bunny bastard strikes again.  
**

**Summary: 50 States. 50 World Meetings. 50 Awkward Situations.**

**_Prolouge_**

America was a relatively simple guy at a distance.

Definitely not the _sharpest_ guy, but hey, could be worse. It's not like he's _Italy_ or anything.

Yes, Alfred F. Jones had lived a long, rewarding life so far.

Of course, his mentor (_not_ his brother. That would be disturbing on _so_ many levels) was about uh...well, Alfred wasn't totally sure, but he didn't really wanted to know anyway. Besides, a young 300 year old guy like him _really_ didn't want to focus on the irrelevant age thing. He really didn't.

Anyway, America. Long rewarding life. Yup. He had fought wars (suck it Arthur!), fought against his own (Damn, Aldrin. Stupid Confederacy Pain in America's ass), and kicked global booty.

His greatest pride however wasn't his independence, or his military, or the fact that McDonalds originated in him.

Nope. It was his children.

Yeah, his _children_. He had kids. Fifty of 'em. It was hard work, handling fifty kids, but he had it pretty easy compared to some.

Poor Mattie. He didn't even want to _know_ how many of the little bastards Canada had.

Now, America and his darling United States had kept the fifty personifications a secret from the world mostly. They didn't need to know.

Except Canada and Romano. Canada because Penn kept sneaking up there for his pancakes.

Romano from the California - RomanoItalia Union of 1906*.

Long story. And _hell _no was Alfred letting Romano near Connecticut. At least California was... less than innocent, despite how she acted. Connecticut...not so much.

So, America kept his children all to himself (and Canada and Romano). Adopting more and more kids as territory was bestowed upon him by the other nations. The glee he felt when he aquired new territory was thrilling. Anticipation, excitement, and overwhelming pride as he stared into his newest state's eyes.

Being a _father._

The Original 13, The Louisana Territory, Alta California, The South, The Midwest, Hawaii, Alaska: he loved them all so much. East, West, North, South: They were his babies.

But of course, having them all to himself wouldn't last forever.

And he knew it.

Nations get ready.

Time for a family reunion.

**A/N: :D Review please.**

***California- RomanoItalia Union of 1906. Nonexistant. Made that up people, IT IS NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. It's what USA in this story calls hte formation of San Diego's Little Italy and the personification of America's Little Italys. Mainly thought up for the purpose of adding a jealous Spain and Spamano love. Can't forget the Spamano love.  
**

**That's right people. I'm giving America grandkids. They will be mentioned, but not seen. Maybe in a different fic if people are interested.  
**


	2. Alabama

**_Meeting #1: In which Alabama gets things started._**

America didn't really _plan_ for the states to meet the nations. But it had to happen eventually.

Besides, he told Josh to get him the Economic report for Alabama as soon as possible, so it was really his own instructions coming to bite him in the ass.

He had been in the middle of an epic presentation of how if the nations just helped him, that global warming could be reversed if they built a giant robot savior that would shade the earth, allowing modern industry to continue.

Needless to say, no one was going for it.

"That's the stupidest thing I've heard," England said bluntly from his seat. "Bloody hell, America. I raised you better than _that_, surely." _Oh yeah, Iggy. Bring up the fact that you raised me._ America thought. _That's not a cheap shot at all. Damn sexy English bastard. Maybe I should take Cali's advice and just turn my entire nation green. But the industry kids would kill me..._

"Hmmm...If England is dissing America, how can I be more _magnifique _by insulting zem both?"

"WINE BASTARD!"

"Western nations are so immature! Perhaps I can distract them...do you boys want some Chinese tasty treats?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME CHINA, **NO!"**

"Now, now. Lets all be nice to China, da?"

"Get off me Italy!"

"OI! Potato bastard! Stop fondling my brother!"

"Heh, heh. Lovi, Germany's not _fondling_..."

"Shut it!"

"Hey! Stop ignoring the awesome! Back me up Mattie!"

"EH?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm/HE'S CANADA!"

"KolKolKol..."

"Gyahh!"

"Everybody calm down!"

"Holy! No wonder ya'll never get anything done. It's like Penn and Ohio on steroids."

Eh? That last one didn't sound familiar. It was both a new voice _and_ not pissed beyond measure. A new country? America turned and saw his 22nd oldest son and grinned, forgetting about the confused and formally warring nations. "Hey Josh! Looking good!"

"Josh" grinned lazily, reminiscent of a summer heat wave. "Sup Pop." He waved a thick folder in his left hand. "Got that report ya wanted. Sucked shit to write." America rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Talking to your dad who has to summarize all your reports and then present them, I don't think it's that big a deal." The kid raised his eyebrows. "Pardon my French, but touche, Pop. Touche." He slouched forwards and handed America the folder, still smiling easily. "Man, Pop. How do ya get things done like this? It may be even worse than _our_ meeting."

"Penn/Ohio clash of '01."

"...Point."

"...America," England said slowly, eyes roving over the kid in confusion (along with everyone else), "...who is this?" America blinked and laughed, tossing his head back. "Ah, Iggy! Look at you! You look so funny!" America continued to laugh and Josh turned to focus on the nations. His smile widened to a grin, and the nations took in his appearance. A relaxed grin and posture, blue jeans, and white T shirt with the slogan: "Birmingham Barons, Est. 1885" and sneakers. He had sky blue eyes, and shaggy hair that was the exact same color as America's.

"Oh. You're England. Interestin'. Shoulda figured," He shrugged languidly, "you look exactly like Ginny." England blinked. "Eh?" He raised a hand. "Joshua Jones. Call me Alabama."

Dead silence. Alabama blinked at them. They blinked back. Then-

"WHAT?" England and the rest of the nations screamed. "ALABAMA? But-But you're a STATE!" Alabama and America raised an eyebrow in a scarily (to the nations) identical fashion. "So?" The nations whirled on America. "You're states are personified?" America shrugged, like he thought they already knew or it was common knowledge (he was actually just fudging with their heads) and said. "Uh... _Yeah._"

"SINCE WHEN?"

"...Since England came over and our first love child Virginia was born?"

"_**...WHAT?" **Wow. That was a _really _high pitch. _

"Wow. I didn't even think it was possible to reach that high of an octave and still be a man. Props."

"Gyah! You-I-He-! Uhghh..."

**THUD.**

"Oh crap! England!"

"...Well, that could've been worse."

"...Yeah. Later Pop. Have fun trying to revive England."

"Later."

_Geez...if they react to Alabama like this...I wonder how they'll react to the territories...

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**A/N: Review?**_  
_


	3. Indiana and Illinois

**A/N: Hi. I don't own anything.**

**_Meeting #2: Indiana and Illinois: Two former French...things._**

It was about a week after England passed out learning that he and America had "Love Children". The fact scared England. Not because of the logical reason (utter fright that it was him and _America_) but strange leaping _joy_ that it was him and America. It really freaked him out, but he was calm now. Kinda. England exhaled. _Alright England. So you and America have...children,_ England felt his cheeks warm up at the mere thought, and ignored France's quiet wolf whistle at his pink cheeks, _Alright. Fine. I wonder what they look like..._ England's thoughts drifted off to a vision of him, America, and 13 children with brown and blond hair and blue eyes. His mouth twitched upwards.

France raised an eyebrow at _Angleterre's_ dreamy expression. Probably thinking about his "colonies". France smirked. The revelation that America's states were personified was huge. Talk about whether there were others in their _own_ country exploded from the nations. They dubbed it unlikely, since America was always the oddball but...

"_Look, I don't know!" America yelled at the persistent nations. "Ask Canada! He has them too!" France's mouth dropped, and turned to his petite Matthieu. He was blushing madly at the sudden and unusual stares as everyone simultaneously remembered his existence. He glanced sideways towards Gilbert who was staring openly and blushed harder. "Mattie?" Canada licked his lips. "Ah...well," He murmured demurely, staring down at that strange bear he always carried around, "I...yes. My provinces are personified." Canada sighed into the loud silence. "I wish Quebec and British Columbia would get along for once. They fight constantly."_

_Chaos erupted._

France jolted out of his flashback as China sat down in his seat and sighed. "Oh? Something ze matter China?"

"I've looked everywhere, but I can't find any provinces of mine, aru." China said glumly. If he could find his provinces..._they_ wouldn't abandon him, like that ungrateful Japan and Taiwan. At least Hong Kong stuck by him...sorta. And South Korea...well, South Korea was South Korea. Ugh.

Japan nodded from his seat. "No such luck with me either."

"Why the hell do _you _need provinces, aru?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You already have Taiwan, aru! Let me have something for once, dammit!"

"Screw you sensei! I don't belong to Japan! ...Anymore."

"Oh please. We _all_ know you two have _some_ type of sexual relationship, aru."

"..."

"..."

"...**_WHAT_?**"

"Ano..."

"Japan! Is that true?"

"...Um...I'm not really comforting in answering that. Perhaps next year?"

"...You guys really didn't know? But it's so obvious, aru!"

"Sensei! SHUT UP!" France snickered as Italy and Germany and...well, _everyone_, surrounded Japan and Taiwan, demanding answers on their relationship. Judging from Japan's stuttering and their pink faces, China's proclamation of their "sexual relationship" was true. France couldn't believe it. Japan was getting some. The thought struck him heavily. _Japan_ was getting some.

Japan. Having sex.

..._**Japan.**_

France was now thoroughly depressed.

America and Canada were talking quietly to each other, and in a desperate attempt to distract himself from the sad fact that Japan was doing better than he, France, the country of romance, in the sex department, France leaned forward, listening.

"...won't get along. And Quebec is just so _rebellious!_ She still wants to be a separate state or whatever!"

"I don't know Mattie. But if it happens, do it in a gradual way. It might ease the pain. I remember when the Confederacy split. That hurt like a bitch."

"Oh right. That must've sucked."

"You have no idea. Freakin' bastard."

"Yeah...is that your phone?"

France blinked at the strange conversation, and realized that the two North America brothers probably had conversations like that often. He must have never noticed from the fact that _Matthieu_ blended into the background so easily and that America...well, France just couldn't take America seriously most of the time. France blinked back to the other nations, who had returned to their seats looking shell shocked, missing America talking to someone named "Logan" on his cell.

"Alright, well," Germany coughed awkwardly, sending a strange glance towards his former Asian Axis ally, who blushed again, "time to start the meeting since last time we were interrupted. America, do you want to start? America?" The nations turned to see America talking quickly on his cell phone, an exasperated look on his face.

"Look, I'm not picking a side." Loud voices erupted from the speaker. America sighed. "No Daniel. Seriously guys, neither one is better-"

The door slammed open with a bang and the nations jumped towards the noise. Two pissed off teenagers stood there, one clutching a phone in hand. The other's hand was on the slammed open door. The teens seethed and yelled, simultaneously, "MINE IS SO BETTER THAN HIS! ... SAY _WHAT_?" That last sentence was directed towards each other and their blue eyes turned glacial with their glaring. Their slightly wavy caramel brown hair gleamed in the fluorescent lighting of the room, and the one of the left glasses' flashed furiously. "Shut up Daniel!" The one on the right snarled. He wore battered old jeans, converse and a NASCAR T-shirt. "Dad totally thinks mine kicks your ass!" The one with glasses growled. "No way! Dad thinks _mine_ is better. Dad, back me up!" America (metaphorically) sweatdropped. "Uh...you two do realize that I'm in the middle of a probably important meeting right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"..."

"Anyway, Dad. Tell Illinois that my motor racing kicks his motor racing butt!"

"Daaaad! Tell Indiana that my motor racing pwns his!" America rubbed his forehead and sighed. This apparently happened a lot. "For the love of George Washington..." The nations stared. More states apparently. These two looked freakishly like America, but there was something about them that seemed...familiar, but distinctly not American. The two glared at each other and continued screaming; America attempting to calm them down. Canada watched amused. He seemed clearer for some reason...

"GUYS! HEY! CALM DOWN!"

"_S'il vous plaît se calmer. Je pense que la tête d'Alfred va exploser. (Please calm down. I think Alfred's head is going to explode)" _Canada said in his accented but flawless French. Immediately, France forgot about the warring states and swooned happily, while England scowled. "What is that-?"

"_Désolé." _The two states automatically responded. The nations choked on air. These states, parts of _America, _knew _French? _Said states blinked and turned to Canada and grinned. "Uncle Matt!" Canada smiled, but sighed as Kumajirou squeaked out, "Who?"

"Your owner." The one with glasses rolled his eyes. "I can't believe he still doesn't know your name." The other one shrugged. "Well, to be fair, Uncle Matt can't remember his name either."

"I do so! Right Kumakichi?"

"...His name's Kumajirou."

"...Eh?"

"We've talked about this you two," America cut in, a look of long suffering on his face, "_I don't take sides._ And neither does Canada." He added hastily as they started to turn to the Northern Nation. Said nation shot a look of pure gratitude in America's direction. "And if you _really_ want this to be solved, then Indiana's motor racing is better-"

"HA!"

"What-?"

"-But Illinois has Obama."

"...Oh."

"Well..." Indiana and Illinois looked considering. "I guess that _is_ true..." The one with glasses (the nations still weren't totally sure which was which) turned to his brother. "Truce?"

"Truce." They shook on it. America looked like all his dreams had come true. "AWESOME! That's really heroic of you two!" He yelled out exuberantly, to their amusement. "Geez. We're not Maryland Dad." One of them scoffed. America shrugged, still grinning. The states, no longer battling over whose race car industry was better, turned to the nations. Illinois nudged Indiana (or was it Indiana nudging Illinois?) "Dude, check it." The one speaking (Illinois?) pointed towards France, "It's France." France blinked confused. This child state knew him?

The other rolled his eyes. "Hey. I only had one French guy."

"And a bunch of Canadians. Who are French."

"...Touche." The one with glasses waved. "Hey. I'm Daniel Jones. Illinois. Former French colony." The other raised _his_ hand. "Logan Jones. Indiana. Former...uh, well..." he began muttering to himself, "There was that _one _French guy... the rest were Canadian...and they were trading posts, not really colonies...but there _were_ forts...then the British came..." He continued muttering, counting on his fingers, words such as "England, France, French Indian War" coming out of his mouth at a fast pace. Illinois rolled his eyes. "Dude. Shut up."

"Shutting up."

America rolled his eyes, grinning fondly at the two French-Canadian Americans. "So, that was all you guys wanted."

"...Pretty much."

"Well, we have a meeting so..."

"Right. See ya, Dad." They turned around and started walking. Illinois walked past Canada with a nod, but Indiana stopped and turned to Canada. "By the way, Penn sent us with a message." Canada blinked. "A message?"

Indiana pulled out a small piece of paper and read from it, occasionally squinting at the scrawled mess that was more like chicken scratch than human handwriting.

"_Yo Uncle Mattie_," Indiana read, _"Wassup? It's me, the awesome Pennsylvania. Want more awesome maple syrup. From the Awesomeness of the Keystone State, Pennsylvania_. _P.S. Gillbird says hi. _" He looked up at Canada, not noticing the very confused nations behind him, shocked at the very Prussia like wording and the fact that they were, well, _French_ or whatever. "She wants maple syrup."

"I figured."

"..."

"...America? You don't have a Prussian state, right?"

"...Uh...yeah...about that..."

...

_**THUD.**_

"Dammit England!

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**A/N: **

**Indiana: So apparently this French came and explored Indiana then left. Then he came back. Canadian fur traders set up some posts and forts and stuff. The French Indian War happened and Indiana became British territory or _something_ like that. Indiana was pissed, and Native Americans in the area rebelled. At the end of the revolutionary war, through the treaty of Paris, the British crown ceded their claims to the land south of the Great Lakes to the newly formed United States. **_See wikipedia for more  
_

**Illinois:****As a result of this French exploration, Illinois was part of the French empire until 1763, when it passed to the British. The small French settlements continued; a few British soldiers were posted in Illinois, but there were no British or American settlers. In 1778, George Rogers Clark claimed the Illinois County for Virginia. The area was ceded by Virginia to the new United States in 1783 and became part of the Northwest Territory. **_See wikipedia for more._**  
**

**Pennsylvania will be explained. Keshesheshe. Gillbird (Jill*bird)  
**

**Review the awesomeness! If the French is wrong, my bad. I don't really trust Google Translate all that well.  
**


	4. Delaware

**A/N: Wassup? I own squat.**

**_Meeting # 3: In which Delaware is introduced and Finland freaks out._**

"I will start this meeting, since our recent ones have involved England fainting." Germany started, much to England's indignation, and quickly began reviewing his economy's standing and what not before a annoyed comment could sneak in. The meeting progressed smoothly, mostly due to the awkwardness that surrounded each nation that prevented them from starting their usual verbal battle royals. Each nation (except England, America, France, and Canada) sent strange, and in Prussia's case, downright suggestive, looks towards France and America. France smirked and lapped it all up, while America was oblivious. England seethed and glared at them all evilly. _Bastards. How dare they insinuate that America would ever get together with that frog!_ England thought angrily. _America just-just- they just have French influences from France's brief visiting. Nothing more. _And with that thought in mind, England felt much better and secure knowing that America would never have "Love Children" with _France_ of all people.

England would later be proved wrong, but for now he was content.

Sweden had just stepped up and was speaking about his economy and a popular Swedish store that was doing very well called "Ikea". Some of the nations seemed skeptical that a furniture store could provide so much income, but to their (seemingly never-ending) surprise, America was nodding along in agreement with Sweden. "Don't underestimate Ikea." He said wisely, and Sweden blinked, not expecting agreement from the hamburger loving nation. "It's freakin' huge. And had good meatballs." He added as a afterthought. A small smirk ghosted onto Sweden's face, and Finland subtly sighed adoringly. Why did he deny that he was Sweden's wife again?

Oh right. Because he was a man, and thus not a wife.

"How do _you_ know about a Swedish store, America-kun?" Japan asked curiously, blushing madly. Not from the question, but the fact that he was publicly flaunting (well, in Japan's world) his relationship with Taiwan. There were holding hands.

In public.

Japan, while pleased (Everyone was always looking at his beautiful Taiwan in ways he did _not_ appreciate), was very flustered, much to her amusement.

America shrugged. "We have 'em back at my place." He said easily, and they all stared. America had a large _Swedish_ store brand at his place? "You do?" America blinked. "Sure. Del introduced them to us."

"...Del?"

"Yeah. Del-" The door slammed open, and the nations barely twitched, already getting used to people barging into their meetings. They turned to face the newcomer, and America muttered, "Speak of the devil." The stranger didn't even pause as she strode towards America purposely. She was very tall, only a few inches shorter than Sweden himself, her long legs enabling her to get to America quickly. Her blond hair was cut shortly and layered neatly and the very tips swayed at her throat angrily. Agitated brown eyes glinted behind a pair of square glasses on her nose. Her face looked round and sweet, but she had a intimidating and stern aura about her. America smiled fatherly at her. "What-?"

"You haven't been answering my messages," she cut him off, beginning to pace in front of him quickly, completely disregarding the bemused nations. This one seemed clingy...America rolled his eyes. "I didn't think it was of the highest importance." He drawled, but his face than slackened and he looked horrified at his own comment. The girl stiffened. The nations could see why America looked so afraid. Her already curt vibe just blackened to utmost intimidation. It was pretty scary.

"'Not of the highest importance?'" She repeated incredulously, stopping her pacing to face her father. "Are you serious?" America gulped meekly. "Uh...yes?"

"Not of the highest importance..." She muttered disbelieving to herself. "It's already March..."

"...You remember that Christmas is in _December, _right?" America asked weakly, slinking down in his seat, as if trying to escape his furious daughter. She shook her head furiously. "Exactly! I'm late as it is!" She fumed and continued pacing and ranting. "Christmas Eve is only nine months away. Nine! I've only _just_ finished the East Coast's gifts!" She began muttering quickly to herself in another language, too quiet for the others to hear. Her pacing slowed as she began thinking and dismissively asked in America's general direction, "What do you want?"

"I don't know?" Wrong answer. She instantly whirled towards him, her face a perfect picture of horror.

"_You don't __**know?"**_ She shrieked, causing the nations to jump and America to squeak. "You don't know? Jag kan inte tro det här ... _Mitä helvettiä minun pitäisi tehdä nyt? (I can't believe this...What the hell am I supposed to do now?)_" She wailed, rapidly changing from English, to Swedish, to Finnish in the span of about three seconds. America sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Out of mild curiosity, why are all you guys randomly bursting in my meetings?"

"Alabama told us over Facebook that we didn't have to go incognito anymore."

"...Dammit Josh..." America grumbled, burying his head in his hands. The nations diverged their attention from the depressed America to his state, now ranting in fluent Finnish. "_Hemmetti! Joulu on yhdeksän kuukautta ja olen jäljessä aikataulusta ... Ehkä minun pitäisi odottaa ja työn Louisana alueella ennen kuin työ isän ... Vai pitäisikö minun aloittaa West Coast ...(Dammit! Christmas is in nine months and I'm way behind schedule...maybe I should wait and work on the Louisana Territory's first before working on Dad's...Or should I start with the West Coast...)_" The nations blinked. Okay. This was weird. The other two that could speak French was _vaguely_ understandable. French at least was a standard language taught in most American high schools, but _Finnish?_ "Uh, like, who are you?" Poland asked, confused with the entire situation, as was everyone else. She stopped ranting and looked over at the countries of the world surprised, as if she didn't notice them. And judging by how frantic and pissed off she was, it wasn't all that surprising. She blinked large brown eyes at them. "I am Delaware." She said, still looking over the nations curiously.

"Uh, okay." Poland said slowly, not really feeling satisfied with the explanation. "Like, why do you know Swedish and Finnish? It's, like, totally bizarre." He finished huffily and she blinked again. "I am Swedish and Finnish." she said blankly, not really getting why that seemed to shock so many of them.

"...Huh?"

"I am Swedish and Finnish." She repeated, still blank about the (awkward) situation. "I am Svea Oxenstierna."

Awkward silence. Mostly because a good majority of the nations didn't know what that meant or could pronounce it.

Sweden, however, was staring openly at her use of his surname and Finland was twitching massively. It had clicked, the second she said "Oxenstierna", who she was.

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHH?" Finland screamed in shock next to the stunned Sweden. She turned toward them. "Eh? What is it?" She asked him curiously, before turning back to America. "Is _Mamma_ often like that?" She asked, pointing very obviously to Finland, who choked on air. "M-M-Mamma?" He squeaked, and she tilted her head in wonderment as to why he was so freaked out. "You are _Pappa_'_s_ wife. You are _Mamma._" She clarified bluntly. Finland blushed. "I-I'm not his wife!"

"...Really? Are you certain _Mamma_?"

"YES!" Sweden looked a little sad, though it wasn't noticed by Finland who was too freaked out with the entire situation. Delaware shrugged noncommittally. "I was born to represent the Finnish and Swedish colony of New Sweden," she declared simply, "thus it is only logical you are my _Mamma _and that he is my _Pappa._" Her purpose of yelling at America done, she curtly turned away from Sweden and Finland and walked away towards the door, calling over her shoulder, "Dad, once you are certain of what you want for Christmas, contact me immediately."

"...'Kay. Bye Svea." She grunted and turned to Canada on her way out. "Did-?"

"I sent her the maple syrup." She nodded briskly and strode out of the room and out of sight. Definitely _not_ out of mind though. Everyone slowly revolved their heads towards America, Finland, and Sweden. America coughed into the silence.

"...Um, well...Delaware...She's, uh, adopted."

_...No shit._

**A/N: Yay! This one was fun! SuFin FTW!**

**Delaware: In 1638 New Sweden, a Swedish trading post and colony, was established at Fort Christina (now in Wilmington) by Peter Minuit at the head of a group of Swedes, Finns and Dutch. The colony of New Sweden lasted for 17 years. Then the Netherlands came and kicked them out. It was shown in the anime, actually. In real life, the first Ikea in the USA was in Pennsylvania (according to wikipedia). Let us, for the sake of fiction, pretend that Delaware told Pennsylvania about it.  
**

**Instead of using modern U.S. Delaware, I just made Delaware a SuFin love child. It was more fun that way.**

**Delaware inherited Sweden's social awkwardness and appearance (for the most part) and Finland's obsession with Christmas.**

**Review! :D  
**


	5. Omake: Chinatown

_**Omake: Chinatown **_

China was a...okay, he wasn't a simple guy. He was _way_ too screwed up to be considered "simple". The nicest way you could describe him was probably, "emotionally damaged" or something like that. I mean there was the Sino-Japanese War-

"_Ah Japan! What are you doing this late at night, aru?"_

"_..."_

"_...Japan?"_

"_..."_

"_...Why are you holding a sword, aru?"_

"_...-Sheek-"_

"_W-Why are you pointing it at me, aru? H-Hey, that dangerous, aru! Japan? **Japan? STOP THAT, ARU! JAPA-GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

Then Taiwan totally ditched him for the backstabbing bastard-

"_Hey you bastard! Don't even **think **__about touching Kiku!"_

"_Huh? You're on a first name basis, aru? Are you two- OW!"_

And South Korea was...well...

"_YOUR BREASTS ARE MINE, ANIKI! DA-ZE~!"_

"_DAMMIT YONG SOO!"_

-Yeah, China was pretty messed up. He sighed irritably as he walked down the streets of San Francisco. Once again, one of America's states ended the meeting prematurely, since Finland and Sweden went into a comatose state after meeting their former colony. China looked around curiously. _How interesting, aru_, he thought, _I've never been to this part of America, aru. Usually the meetings are held in New York..._

A flash of green caught his eye, and he turned to see the great archway leading into San Francisco Chinatown. People walked passed the enthralled Asian man as he absorbed the green roofs, the pillars, the traditional writing on the hanging plaque, and the two decorative golden dragons. Transfixed with seeing his culture smack in the middle of San Francisco, China dazedly walked forward looking at the shops selling Chinese clothes, shoes, and other trinkets. He saw several Chinese restaurants and other shops as he walked by, the majority of the signs in Mandarin with English underneath.

China beamed, before realizing that people were staring at him strangely. He blushed lightly, he may fit in here, but it was still strange to walk around a community wearing a _military_ uniform. China soon walked to one of the shops, checking to see if he had a decent amount of American money. Seeing that he did, he entered a cluttered clothing shop. It was cramped, but cozy. China liked it. He glanced around curiously and was looking at some of the selections when a small voice interrupted his thoughts. "我可以幫你嗎 (Can I help you)?" He turned to the direction of the voice and saw nothing. He looked down and smiled at the tiny girl. He knelt down to her eye level and said, "你好。我可以選擇使用一些幫助 (Hello. I could use some help in choosing)." She smiled cheerfully and grabbed his hand innocently before leading him off to another part of the store. A boy that looked about 8 watched them keenly from the counter, his amber eyes gleaming. The girl (around 7 or so) wore 襦裙 consisting black and red with white socks and small black shoes.

Soon, the helpful child fitted him with more appropriate clothing that was very similar to his casual green Mandarin jacket and yellow pants. He smiled and paid the boy at the counter. "Where are your parents?" He asked, glancing around, missing the children exchange uneasy looks. "Do they own the shop, aru?"

"Um, yes." the girl said shyly. "They do."

"We look after it a lot though." the boy cut in hastily. China was surprised. "I would've thought you two would be occupied with school." The boy fidgeted. "We're, uh, home schooled." China nodded slowly. "Oh. What are you names, aru?"

"I'm 龍," said the boy boldly. The girl shifted timidly.

"I'm 老李 ." China smiled kindly. "It's nice to meet you, aru. My name is 耀." They blinked and nodded. "It's nice to meet you. Please come back soon." China nodded and waved to the polite children as he exited the shop. _Ah. What nice kids, aru. _China sighed happily, in high spirits, and strolled down the crowded street. _I'll have to try to come back soon, aru. I wonder if there is any good food here..._

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* * *

_

The two children stared at the nation's retreating back and continued to stare at the door even after he exited the building and it had shut close. The girl turned to the bemused boy. "Was that 爺爺 中國 (Grandpa China)?"

"I think it was, 小 中國城 (Little Chinatown)."

"Wow. Didn't see that coming; did you 大 中國城 (Big Chinatown)?"

"沒了(Nope)."

* * *

**A/N: I couldn't resist. China has so much angst. The guy needs love.  
"Little" Chinatown is the personification of Oakland Chinatown. "Big" Chinatown is the personification of San Francisco. They're siblings.  
**

龍: **Pronounced Long. Means Dragon**

老李: **Pronounced Lao Li. Means Old Plum. Lao can mean tough too, so it can also mean Tough Plum**

耀: **Pronounced Yao. Means honor.**

襦裙: **Pronounced Rú qún (Jacket Dress). You know that outfit Mulan wears in the Disney movie? It's kinda like that. **

http : / en. wikipedia. org /wiki / Ruqun (Get rid of the spaces)


	6. Idaho and Montana

**A/N: I don't own anything.**

**Let us take a moment to acknowledge the damage and loss of Japan that was struck by a 8.9 earthquake and tsunami yesterday.**

**Stay strong Japan.  
**

**_Meeting # 4: In which Idaho and Montana are BFF's, and the true nature of the Romano-California Union of 1906 is revealed._**

Months had passed, and it was winter. The nations gathered for their usual meeting, this time in Switzerland.

Switzerland usually didn't hold meetings at his place, but America was out of the question since _someone_ ended up fainting or something similar, totally killing productivity. England was, well England and France was of a similar situation. Everyone elses' places were busy so it unfortunately fell to Switzerland.

Switzerland wasn't too happy about it, but thanks to his "job" as the mediator during WW II, he was sadly used to it.

Switzerland growled quietly and his hand twitched to his shoulder gun as he heard his "sister's" joyful laugh. What if some perverted scum like, God forbid, _France_, was hitting on her and his sweet innocent Lichtenstein didn't realize the danger? However, he relaxed as he saw it was only Hungary.

Then, he became very tense when it hit that it was _Hungary._ Thinking fast, Switzerland quickly called the meeting to start. He gave a silent sigh of relief as the nations moved to their seats and Hungary retreated to her chair next to Austria, bidding Lichtenstein goodbye. Switzerland curtly and professionally (unlike _some _of these idiots) reviewed his (as per usual) stellar economy as well as some of the key events that had occurred within his home and sat down next to Lichtenstein, who smiled at him. He nodded at her, blushing lightly and awkwardly. Damn. One day he'd figure out why he did that.

Years, and years, (and some more years) later, after Lichtenstein had developed hips and breasts, Switzerland _finally_ figured it out. But for now, he was totally clueless.

The meeting progressed semi-smoothly (as smoothly as nations can). Finland and Sweden were acting suspiciously closer than usual (although they pretty much acted like they were married anyway), Taiwan cooed to Japan, who was looking rather ill, and France and England tried to slaughter each other. Usual stuff.

Until-

"Daddy~!" Switzerland's eye twitched. _Oh GOD no. _He turned, and yup, two teenagers that none of the nations had ever seen before were standing in the doorway. _Dammit!_ Switzerland thought despairingly. Then he paused and thought incredulously, _How the __**hell**__ did they get here?_ The nations seemed to be thinking the same thing, except for America, the bastard. He beamed at them happily. "Hey Olivia! Hey Micheal!" The girl beamed, and the boy waved. The both carried large sport bags, but while the girl carried hers easily with the air of expertise, the boy was holding his rather awkwardly. The girl had soft long brown hair in a loose braid, blue eyes with a light dash of freckles across her face. The boy had the same shade of eyes, but his hair was a much darker brown and his skin was very tan. They boy wore snow pants, jackets, boots and gloves. The girl wore goggles perched on her head. The girl skipped forward and hugged America, the boy following, depositing his sport bag at the door, and gave America a "man hug".

"Hey." He said simply. He voice was deep and rough, while the girls was light and smooth. They were a very contradictory pair, but they seemed close. America beamed again. "Hey! Whatcha guys doing?" The girl beamed. "I'm gonna help Mike improve his lame skiing skills!" She sang cheerfully, and the boy shrugged. "What she said." America chuckled and patted the boy on the shoulder. "I wish you luck." The boy rolled his eyes.

"America," Switzerland growled angrily, "_why_ are they here?"

"I invited them, obviously."

**_"WHY?"_**

"Well..."

* * *

"_You're meeting's gonna be in Switzerland?" Olivia demanded and America nodded. "Yup."_

"_I wanna go!" America cocked his head. "Eh?"_

"_I wanna go!" She repeated impatiently. "It's freakin' **Switzerland!**_ _The slopes are gonna rock!"_

"_...You want to accompany me to a world meeting...so you can go skiing in Switzerland?"_

"_Duh."_

"_...Seriously?"_

"_Yes! Now let me go with you or I'll cry."_

"_Come on. You're not going to-"_

"_-Sniff-"_

"_...You can't be serious-"_

"_-Hiccup-"_

"_...Dammit."

* * *

_

And that was how she managed to convince her Daddy to get her and her brother (and BFF) plane tickets to Switzerland.

The nations stared at her, mouths agape as she finished her story about conning America into bringing her (and the other kid) with them. The boy face palmed while America looked embarrassed and a little proud at her scheming con-fullness.

"..." The nations said. Italy beamed at them happily. "Ve~ Hello!" He called to them happily, noticing that one of them was a pretty (and not utterly terrifying) girl. "I'm Italy! What's your names? Ve~!" They blinked and glanced at each other, then turned to America with expressions that clearly said, "This guy's a nation? _Seriously?"_

Italy, predictably, missed the look.

The other nations, predictably, didn't blame them for said look.

The boy sighed and said, "I'm Micheal Jones. Otherwise known as," he grimaced, "Montana." He waited, as if he was expecting something, but after a moment of silence he greatly relaxed. The girl waved unsure. "Uh hi." She offered. "I'm Olivia Jones. Idaho." She too, waited as if expecting something, but beamed when only silence was offered.

You see, Montana and Idaho got teased a lot because of their names.

Idaho from the fact that her name was just a bunch of random syllables meshed together, which unfortunately sounded out as "I-da-ho", which _really_ unfortunately sounded a lot like "I the ho" when slurred.

Montana wasn't teased that much in the past, but then Hannah Montana came to fame.

Poor bastard wasn't really treated the same after that.

Thus, Idaho and Montana grew very close and became BFF's while bonding of their mutual annoyance with everyone making fun of their names and their equal annoyance with said names. It was a little sad that that was how their friendship was formed, but they had other things in common, as well as being neighbors, so it was all good.

They both like skiing and potatoes (Idaho especially). Both were used greatly as bonding tools.

That, and taking a picture of Washington (one of their main tormentors) and throwing darts at it ("Twenty points if you get him in the eye!").

In fact, as Idaho and Montana chatted with America about skiing, she pulled out a bag of potato slices and began munching on them, occasionally sharing them with Montana. Romano scowled from his seat. "Great. _Another_ Potato bastard." He grumbled. Idaho heard and glared. "Shut up." She snapped. "My potatoes kick your tomatoes ass."

Silence. Then-

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY, BITCH?"

"YOU HEARD ME JACKASS!"

"F-FUCK YOU!"

"IS THAT WHAT CALIFORNIA SAID WHEN YOU TWO FORGED YOUR "ALLIANCE"?"

"L-LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS, DAMMIT!"

"Uh...guys, can we just-"

"**STAY OUT OF THIS!"**

"..."

The nations' heads volleyed back and forth as Idaho and Romano yelled at each other angrily. Spain swallowed slightly, a little turned on by the fierce look in the Southern Italy's eyes. "Uh, Lovi-"

"Shut up Tomato Bastard!"

"Lovi..." Okay, scratch the _little_ part.

"GO TO HELL!"

"YOU GO TO HELL!"

"BITE ME, BITCH!"

"I WOULD, BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I'M NOT CALIFORNIA!"

"WHY YOU-!" Deciding enough was enough, Montana hooked his arms under his sister's armpits and hastily dragged her screaming and struggling body from the room, uttering a hasty "Bye" to America. The countries of the world stared at the empty doorway and the fading feminine screams. Then they stared at Romano, who turned tomato red and sank back into his seat, glaring at everyone. "W-What the hell you looking at? Dammit..." He scowled heavily, eyes glaring hatefully at the door. America coughed. "Uh," the nations snapped towards him, "Romano...you didn't actually, uh, bite-?"

"None of your business!" Romano snarled heatedly, turning a even brighter red, if such a thing was possible. America frowned. "Considering my daughter's innocence-" Romano snorted derisively, "-is at stake, I think it _is_ my business." Romano glared at America. "Please. She's no where _near_ innocent and you know it." America flushed. "S-Shut up." He protested weakly, but didn't deny it.

Now, Spain was pretty slow, but even the gears in his head were turning the same way and at the same speed everyone elses' were. "Uh, Lovi?" He timidly asked the pissed country, but held his ground as Lovi glared at him. "What is America talking about?" Romano spluttered and ducked his head, flushing again. "N-Nothing, bastard!" America suddenly bristled. "You consider having _sex_ with my daughter nothing?"

"IT WAS A POLITICAL UNION!"

"It was still sex."

"...Go to hell, dammit."

Every nation gasped (except Canada, who just looked maliciously gleeful. Just a little.). Romano, the awkward, "uncute", totally in love with Spain, nation had _sex_ with one of _America's states? _Spain gaped at his cute little tomato, utterly shocked. "Is that true Lovi?" He asked incredulously, desperately waiting for some denial; a frantic shake of the head, and a embarrassed but utterly adorable flushed no. Sadly for Spain, none came as Romano stayed quiet. Red as a tomato, but quiet. Spain felt his entire universe shatter.

The nations sat in awkward, awed silence, until Switzerland rubbed his temples irritably.

"Ugh, meeting dismissed." He groaned tiredly.

He knew holding the meeting at his place was a bad idea.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Spain :( He will go through angst, but then we get to see Possessive!Spain! And we all love Possessive!Spain.**

**Once again, the Romano-California Union of 1906 isn't real. It's just the formation of the representation of little Italy. And little Italy had to be born _somehow..._The main reason for this though is that I just want to try to write Possessive!Spain. There aren't enough fics of him around. And this fic is Spamano, not Calmano so no worries! ...Unless you randomly support them, than I apologize.  
**

**Idaho: No one really knows how Idaho's name came to be, or what it really means. Some guy just made it up. We feel for you Idaho, but cannot resist the urge to mock. Central Idaho is home to one of North America's oldest ski resorts, Sun Valley, where the world's first chairlift was installed. Idaho's state vegetable is the potato.**

**Montana: The Hannah Montana thing is self explanatory. Montana has several skiing areas, but it doesn't seem as emphasized in wikipedia (my source of state knowledge) as Idaho's. Montana also farms seed potatoes, and has several Native American communities and seven reservations (thus resulting in a larger Native American population (and percentage) than most US states), hence the reason Montana's hair is a dark brown instead of light and his tan skin.**


	7. California

**A/N: Hola! I don't own anything. I've had some people ask me what state I'm from and I've decided not to say until the very end of the fic. Try and guess~  
This Chapter features Dark/Possessive/Conquistador!Spain and some Spamano making out. You are warned.**

_**Meeting #5: In which California girls are unforgettable, and Spain snaps. Uh, mentally.**_

Spain stared hard at the wall from his seat in the San Francisco conference room, ignoring all other surroundings. His chin rested on his intertwined fingers, elbows resting on the table.

Romano, his cute little _tomatito_, had-had, ugh, Spain couldn't even _think _about it without feeling furious. Spain silently seethed to himself, angry venomous vibes radiating from his person like a toxic gas. That-that witch! How dare she seduce _his_ Lovi, _his _Romano! Spain felt poisonous fury and envy course through as he pictured them together. Did they smile at each other? Spain felt his eye twitch. Did they hold hands? His own tightened. Did they kiss? Spain audibly growled, causing Mexico to edge _far_ away from the wrathful Spaniard. Spain's cheery face was twisted into an obviously enraged scowl, causing all of the South American nations to stay as far away from him as possible. They remembered the times Spain looked like that, and it was very unpleasant.

They _really_ didn't have to deal with _Conquistador La Espana_ again. He was scary, ruthless, and cruel as _fuck_.

Spain continued to mull over the situation, much to his dislike. His newer happier side was trying to use logic (Which was always a bad sign) and remind the former Empire that it was _political_ and getting angry would solve absolutely nothing. The dark Conquistador that was slowly dominating every pore and fiber of his being was utterly livid. _Dio,_ he was angry. He hadn't felt this angry since his precious Armada. Hell, perhaps he was even angrier right now. Romano was _his_, dammit. All his. He could never belong to anyone else; every inch of milky kissable skin was _his_ to kiss, every strand of silky hair was _his _to play with, those burning eyes...they were _his!_ How dare that whore take what rightfully belonged to Spain!

_Ah..._Spain's hateful thoughts were happily interrupted by the starting meeting. Spain possessively eyed the older Italian as he sat next to his brother, carefully avoiding eye contact with everyone. France was smirking at the Italian curiously, but backed off when Spain snarled at him for looking at _his_ Roma. Oh, his Roma was looking at him now. Ah~he looked _so_ cute. So delectable. Spain didn't bother to hide the lust burning and glazing his eyes like he normally did, and he licked his lips suggestively. Roma, his cute, delicious Roma, blushed and looked off to the side. Spain smirked predatory, half lidded eyes roving over his Roma. So_ cute_.

The entire room reeked with uncomfortableness and stifling tension. Conquistador Spain was unabashedly taking hold of Spain's mind set, and quite obviously eying Romano like he was a piece of meat. America coughed and feebly started the meeting. The other nations listened halfheartedly; Spain, Romano, Italy, France, and many others weren't listening at all. America sighed after 20 minutes of getting absolutely nowhere. "Alright. Let's take a half an hour recess." The nations nodded in agreement, and the break progressed smoothly, the nations talking to each other and avoiding Spain, who was slowly and leisurely making his way to Romano.

Romano was sensing doom on the horizon, but was thankfully saved.

However, he was saved by the _worst_ person possible.

"~!" A swift blur sped past the nations much too fast to see and collided with Romano, knocking him to the ground. "Mother of-!" The blur giggled happily and stood up, dragging Romano up as well. It was a teenage girl.

That looked pretty much _exactly _like Spain.

Their hair was the same shade, texture, and had the same degree of curliness. Their green eyes matched perfectly, as well as their tan skin and bright happy smiles (though Spain was far from smiling right now). It was kinda creepy. And with much dread, the nations suddenly had a feeling of who this girl was. They were torn between utter horror and, in the males case, outrageous envy.

Envy, because Romano, at the current moment, had two slender arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his face to the girl's ample chest in a enthusiastic hug.

Translation: Romano was getting his face smothered by a large, ample, firm pair of breasts.

France nearly cried at the injustice of it all.

The girl laughed brightly, jumping up and down in glee. "Lovi~!" She sang cheerfully. "I haven't seen you in forever~!" She loosened her hold and he staggered away, gasping for sweet, sweet air. "Dammit!" He exclaimed, pouting at the mystery girl. "Don't _do _that! Crazy bitch..." He mumbled. She grinned innocently. "That would hurt a lot more if I thought you meant it, you know." She chirped. Romanao scowled. "_Sei un idiota (You're an idiot)_." Romano said bluntly.

"Eh? _Questo non è bello, Lovi (That's not nice, Lovi_)!" She pouted up at him, being a inch shorter, hands on her curvy hips, answering back flawlessly in Romano's mother Italian. "_Dovresti dire 'E ' bello vederti Gabriella ' (You're supposed to say, "It's nice to see you Gabriella"_)." Romano rolled his eyes. "Whatever." 'Gabriella' huffed. "_Tomate Silly._" Romano twitched. "What's with you Spaniards calling me a tomato, dammit?" He yelled.

"Cause you're so cute and red Lovi~"

"SHUT UP!" She laughed joyously, and skipped off, calling to Romano over her shoulder, "I'm going to say _Hola _to _Papá_ now! Don't miss me too much Lovi~!"

"Why the hell would I miss _you_, you bitch?" She laughed, and pranced over to America, who smiled at her and kissed her forehead and they began to talk rapidly, both laughing occasionally.

Spain stared at what was obviously the state California. He didn't expect her to look so much like, well him. It was unnerving. Then he glared balefully at her. This was the girl that stole _his_ Romano. And she called him _tomate._ _**He **_was the only one that got to call Lovino that! His fingers itched to wrap around her neck and snap it.

America and California strolled (in California's case flounced) over to the nations. The nations realized something odd. And that was that America looked..._happier_ wasn't the right word. But he looked much more relaxed standing next to the glowing girl. And the nations could feel themselves becoming more relaxed as well. It was strange.

"_Hola~!_" She sang happily, shifting her weight onto one hip (France then noticed her long, fit, tan legs and curvy hips and began to _really_ cry over the injustice of it all). "I'm Gabriella Maria Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! Call me California!" She exclaimed grandly, throwing both arms up into a flourishing V shape, "It's, like, awesome to meet you!" She added, flashing a lazy peace sign. They all stared at her. She was the epitome of Golden Girl. It was smack in the middle of March, but she still got away with wearing a denim mini skirt, and emerald green halter top. She practically glowed and oozed magnetism, and they seemed oddly drawn to her. England then noticed her wrists, ears, and neck. He gaped. "I-Is that _gold_?" California squealed. "Ooooh! You noticed!" She fingered her golden hoops, absentmindedly. "Yes! They're solid gold." He continued to gape. "_Solid_ gold?" He said weakly. She wore so much gold so casually...

"S_í! _From my Gold Rush~!" All the nations suddenly remembered the 1850's in which their populations drastically decreased for America, and America charging into their meeting in 1849 yelling "Gold! California has gold!" California laughed sheepishly. "Yes, my home is doing pretty well-" America snorted. "That's an underestimate, don't you think Cali?"

"Eh?"

"Your gross state income is $1.812 trillion, not to mention the largest in all of the United States." America reminded her dryly, "and if you decided to be your own country, you would have the eighth largest economy in the entire world, despite the fact you're going through an economic crisis." The nations choked on air. I mean, holy crap!

"Oh yeah! Guess I forgot~. Haha..." America rolled his eyes, and patted her on the head. "Man, you guys in the Alta have crappy memories."

"New Mexico has a good memory! And so does Arizona!"

"Fine. You purely Spanish guys in the Alta have crappy memories."

"That's not nice, _Papá!_"

"You'd think you'd have a better one," America teased her, "considering how old you are." California pouted. "I'm not old." She muttered petulantly.

"You're older than _I _am."

"Only by, like, 150 years!" California pouted. "I didn't even start aging until 1850! _Baja_ is way older."

"...He's not part of the U.S. Cali."

"We're still related!" The nations stared. China finally asked, "Uh, how old _are_ you, aru?" California looked to the ceiling in thought, muttering to herself in what sounded like Spanish. "Uh...406, I think." They all blinked. "**_What?_**" She was even older than America! How was that possible_?_

"How are you _406?"_ California beamed. "'Cuz I'm the legacy of the Spanish Empire, and the Spanish Empire is _old_. My name used to be _Alta California_ for a reason. Ah, that was so long ago~" She smiled nostalgically, much to the nation's (coughSpaincough) shock. "It's probably why I'm so strong too, 'cuz _Padre España_ was a real ass kicker back then! That was before I was split up and my brothers were born!"

"...Your...brothers?"

"Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado." America clarified, and California nodded. "And my _hermano __gemelo__ (twin brother) _Baja is still at Mexico's place! Oh, hi Mexico!" She waved to the surprised female nation. "Um. Hi?" Mexico tried. California beamed and skipped back to Lovi, re-triggering Spain's jealous Conquistador side (who had been temporarily shocked into retreat for a while). "Lovi, you should visit San Diego soon~! Our _bebés_ miss you!" Romano flushed.

"Please stop calling them that." California rolled her eyes. "Beijing and Tokyo don't mind!"

"I-I don't care about Japan and China's vital regions, dammit!"

"Really? But they're so nice~! Seoul is fun too!" Romano's eye twitched. "You mean the guy that tried to "Claim my breasts" the one time I met him?"

"Yup~! That was funny."

"...-Twitch-"

China, Japan, and South Korea had edged up to the front of the group near Romano silently, faces set in shock. "...Huh?" South Korea asked confused as to why his vital region was mentioned. "Why are we talking about our vital regions?"

"Cause California had political alliances with all of them, like she did with Romano."

"..."

"_**WHAT?"**_

"Well, yeah! How did you think Chinatown, Japantown and Koreatown were born?"

"..." THUD.

"Oh god! Japan!"

"Kiku!"

"...Did I just make Tokyo's dad pass out?"

"Yeah."

"...Oops." California winced, then smiled again, noticing other nations that she recognized (she had a short attention span at times). "Ah~ Hello Greece!" She waved to the sleepy nation. "I haven't seen you since 1984 when Los Angelos held the Olympics!" Greece blinked slowly and thought for a moment. "Ah..." He said, nodding in remembrance (of the Olympics, not the state), "That's right...your stadium held it twice." California smiled. "Yup~!" Then she made eye contact with Spain.

All nations immediately backed away in fear of their lives.

Spain glared at her smiling face. Wicked Lovi thief. He tightened his hands into fists. California stared evenly back at him, and calmly said, "I don't know why _Padre __España _wants to fight, but I would kick your ass." America and Romano face palmed at the blunt (and probably accurate) statement. Spain seethed. "_Bruja (witch),_" Spain snarled, "_Lovino es __**mío **(Lovino is **mine**)_" Romano choked and blushed crazily. "HUH?" Spain reinforced this by stalking over to the flustered and tomato red nation and grabbing his hips, growling out a possessive, "_Mine_", and shoving his tongue down his throat. California raised her eyebrows and the rest of the world stared. After centuries of UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension) between the two, they _finally_ kissed. England secretly swooned, being a huge closet romantic and Italy giggled happily, jumping slightly in his glee that his brother was finally with Spain.

Romano, who at first struggled in Spain's tight grip (mostly due to principle), had now relaxed and tangled his hands in Spain's wavy hair, pulling him roughly closer. Spain practically purred and shoved Romano against the conference table by the hips, nibbling and biting his throat, leaving bright red marks. Romano moaned as Spain began licking his reddening skin. Both nations had totally forgotten about the staring and rapidly blushing rest of the globe (and state). Switzerland by this time had rushed Lichtenstein out of the room while covering her ears, and Hungary was rapidly taking as many photos as she could with the camera she spontaneously pulled out of nowhere. California meanwhile pulled out her phone eagerly and sent a text to her sister.

_CaliforniaGurl31: Hey Flo. Padre España and Lovi r making out!_

_OrangeLuvr27: OMG, Wat?  
_

_CaliforniaGurl3: I kno. Isnt gr8t?_

_OrangeLuvr2: Hell yeah! Nevada owes us $20! :D_

_CaliforniaGurl3: :D

* * *

_

**A/N:Yes, California is actually a Spamano shipper. She, along with her sister Florida, made a bet with Nevada on wheter Spain and Romano would get together. Thus Nevada now owes them both 20 bucks. California was originally born to reprersent the entire Spanish territory of Alta California, however, she was given up to Mexico, who gave her to the U.S. Her brothers, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico were soon born. However, since she was originally a pretty decent chunk of the Spanish Empire, she's kinda like Spain's legacy. She was just a colony, she didn't really physically age at all until she became a state in 1850.  
**

**California Magnetism: California drew in a lot of immigrants during the Gold Rush since a lot of people saw coming to California as a opportunity for a better life. Thus, she had a magnetic aura.**

**California Relaxation Effect: California is stereotypically known as a ideal resort destination.**

**California's Economy: Isn't that mind boggling_?_ I read about it Wikipedia, and was like, "Holy shit!"  
**

**California: Sebastián Vizcaíno explored and mapped the coast of California in 1602 for New Spain (USA signed Declaration of Independence 1776). Spanish missionaries began setting up 21 California Missions along the coast of what became known as Alta California (Upper California). In 1821 the Mexican War of Independence gave Mexico (including California) independence from Spain; for the next 25 years, Alta California remained a remote northern province of the nation of Mexico. In 1846 settlers rebelled against Mexican rule during the Bear Flag Revolt and become the California Republic. It didn't last long and the Treaty of Cahuenga was signed by the Californios on January 13, 1847, securing American control in California. The western territory of Alta California, that was to become the U.S. state of California, and Arizona, Nevada, Colorado and Utah, became U.S. Territories, while the lower region of California, the Baja Peninsula, remained in the possession of Mexico. On September 9, 1850, as part of the Compromise of 1850, California was admitted to the United States as a free state. Alta California consisted of the modern American states of California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, western Colorado, and southwestern Wyoming.  
**http :/ en. wikipedia. org / wiki / California (get rid of spaces)


	8. Alaska

**A/N: This one was fun~ Sorry it took so long. Frickin' Error Type 2. Pain in my ass D:  
**

**I own nothing.  
**

**_Meeting #6: Become one with Alaska, da?_  
**

The meeting was able to continue after brave and almighty Prussia and uh, France separated the two Mediterranean nations from their intense make out session. However, Spain happily dragged Romano over to his seat and sat him on his lap. Romano would've gone back to his own seat, but alas, the poor tomato was trapped in Spain's powerful and monopolizing grip. Every time he tried to squirm away, Spain would tighten his grip and nip at his red throat, growling, "_**My**_ Lovi". Thus, Romano was stuck, stuttering and cherry tomato red, in the Spaniard's lap.

Besides, we all know he secretly liked it.

Thus, the meeting was actually able to _end._ It was a goddamn miracle. America cheered.

"WE _FINISHED_ A MEETING! YEEEEAAAHHHH!" He screamed wildly, and the rest of the nations rolled their eyes (Except Spain, who was trying to kiss Romano again. Hey, he'd been waiting for the guy for _centuries_. He had a lot of pent up sexual aggression to release) but shared America's sentiments. "We should go out, da?" Russia suggested creepily, Belarus faithfully at his side, much to his horror. "To celebrate, since we are all comrades, da?" The rest of the world shuddered, expect for America, Spain, and Romano, since the two were, uh, busy.

"I swear to god, stop doing such vulgar activities in front of my sister!"

"SHUT UP! Spain, honey, please continue in claiming your cute Romano! For the sake of love!"

" coughPervcough "

"What was that Prussia?"

"Nothing!" America coughed. "Yeeeaaahhhh," He drew out slowly, carefully avoiding looking at the two passionately kissing nations. "I, uh, got stuff." Russia smiled evilly. "Stuff, comrade America?" He asked innocently, though much scarier. America wasn't fazed. He didn't have the Cold War with the bastard for nothing, you know. "Yeah. I got stuff. I'm meeting someone." France immediately perked to attention. "Oho!" He chuckled (pervertedly), slinging an arm around America's shoulders. America jumped. _When the hell did he __**get **__there?_

"Meeting someone?" France leered, much to America's discomfort, "A special someone?"

"...Well, she's special. Probably not the type of special you're thinking of." The maniacal glint in France's eyes died a bit. The quirky American took this opportunity to slid out the Frenchman's grasp. "Yep. So I'm just going to go..." America turned and slammed into Russia, who smiled sweetly.

_Dammit._

_

* * *

_

America sighed as he walked down the streets of San Francisco. Luckily, The Bay Area was known for being rather..._flamboyant_, so his odd entourage didn't draw too much negative attention. And by entourage, America meant Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, England, France, Canada (and Prussia), China, Latvia, Estonia, Poland, and Lithuania. Lithuania seemed okay with his surroundings, having lived in America's house for a while. Russia scared some people though. America sighed, but brightened when he spotted a flower shop. He trotted over to it, leaving the bickering (as usual) nations behind him.

England was in the middle of insulting France (again) when he noticed America wasn't in front of them anymore. "Hey, where'd that git-?"

"One sunflower please!" They all turned to see America purchasing a large and bright sunflower from a small and slightly out of place flower stand. America beamed as the lady selling the flower smiled at him and tied a pink ribbon to the thick stem. "I hope she likes it." She said kindly and America chuckled that childish laugh. "Haha...don't worry! She loves sunflowers!" With that said, he turned back to his fellow countries and said, "Well, onward!" and continued on his way happily, much to their confusion and Russia delight (he loved sunflowers~!).

"Ah~! A sunflower!" Russia chirped joyfully, gazing at the bright yellow flower in the country's hand, "I love sunflowers!" America rolled his eyes, not that Russia saw, too intent on the sunflower. Belarus growled at the flower was taking her big brother's attention away from her. Lithuania cleared his throat, "So, Mr. America?" he asked timidly, not bating an eye when some random dude suddenly yelled out "SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT! STOP GLOBAL WARMING!" really loudly, though Poland gripped his arm fearfully, "Who are we meeting?" America chuckled. "You'll see. Though I'm surprised she's here," The said thoughtfully, "She doesn't wander off from her home often...unless Virginia summoned her accidentally again." The last part was muttered very quietly so that the other nations couldn't hear.

"What-?" Lithuania asked, before stopping hastily with the rest of the group as America stopped. He was looking around intently, before he broke into a wide smile and jogged forward calling for someone. However, what surprised the nations was the language he used.

"Подсолнечник (Sunflower)!" The nations (mainly Russia and excluding Canada) gaped at the perfect Russian that flowed out of America's mouth easily as he trotted forward and presented the sunflower to someone they couldn't see. They could, however, hear delighted laughter that had a distinctive childlike tone. The nations cautiously trickled forward to the bent over nation as he cooed adoringly to someone very small. They heard the same laugh again and recognized it as a girl's laugh. America turned and they saw a brief sight of the girl, but she ducked behind America's legs before they could absorb what she looked like. America glanced behind him and chuckled. "Aw, someone's shy!" He teased, ruffling light hair. She clutched his pant leg as he continued to smile. "How 'bout you show my colleagues your pretty face, Подсолнечник?" There was movement as the girl shook her head frantically. America pouted. "Awwww, c'mon Vanya!" Ivan (aka Russia) raised his eyebrows at the affectionate abbreviation of his name. Belarus snarled and raised her knife, inching forward to skew America, much to the terror to the nations and shock (as well as terror) to the citizens. Russia blushed awkwardly. America ignored this, waving the concerned people away with a dazzling smile, and continued to coax the small child. "We can go out and get some salmon afterward." This seemed to appeal to her since a small innocent voice suddenly piped up, although asking a _not_ so innocent question.

"Can we get vodka too?" The Belarus stopped sliding forward, confused, while the nations choked and America's eye twitched. "No."

"Awwwww..." The small voice came again, but she complied with America's wishes and stepped out from behind America's legs. She looked around the age of seven, and she was very cute. She twisted the sunflower stem carefully and nervously in her mittened hands. Her short ashy silver hair shone in the sun and her cherubic face was set in a bashful smile, her round face tinted pink. She glanced up at them and big violet eyes stared at them. "П-Привет (Hello)." The mini Russia said brightly. "I am Alaska! We will be friends, da?"

The nations (especially the Baltics) turned white. America beamed.

* * *

America snickered at the faces of the shocked countries. Ha, they looked so baffled. He felt kinda sad for the Baltics though. His little Alaska looked at all of them curiously, still twiddling her sunflower. She beamed when she saw Canada, and ran forward to hug her uncle and neighbor (She _did_ live in him...sorta). "Дядя _Matevi _(Uncle Matthew)_!_" She squealed happily and jumped into the Canadian's arms, giggling. "Become one with Alaska, da?" Canada rolled his eyes. "Not today Ivana."

"Hmmm...okay!" 'Ivana' chirped, sliding out of his arms, he snow boots making a soft thump on the street. Despite the fact it was rather warm (compared to other places, aka Alaska) she was still bundled in a thick winter coat, and her black pants were tucked securely into snow boots. She wore purple mittens and a lavender purple scarf was wound around her neck like Russia's. She skipped back to America, still holding her precious sunflower. "Let's get salmon now, da?" America patted her head. "Sure!"

"Can I have-?"

"No vodka." Her unfinished plea for the strong alcohol was shot down at once, and she pouted. "Матери России (Mother Russia) drinks vodka." She said stoutly, and Russia's eyes widened at _actually_ being called Mother Russia, since, well, _no _one would call him that, despite that he kept asking them to. America's face didn't budge from it's stern look. "Yeah, but he's a fully grown, six foot tall nation." He responded dryly, and took her hand. "And your domestic violence and crime rate is not a pretty picture thanks to vodka anyway." He grumbled this unhappily while Alaska smiled innocently, with a slightly creepy undertone.

Her likeness to Russia was batshit terrifying. Belarus, smitten with Alaska's likeness to her big brother, actually _cooed _at the young state, who waved at her cheerfully. Latvia nearly passed out and Estonia and Lithuania were visibly trembling with fear. America sighed. "Well, let's get some salmon, hmm?" Alaska beamed and tugged his hand cutely. "Da!" America smiled at her and nodded to the other nations. "See you." He then led Alaska off, Alaska skipping at his side, the two hand in hand. That stupefied countries could only stand there, listening to the two's rapidly fading conversation.

"Did Ginny accidentally summon you again?"

"Da. It's annoying, but she let me try some magic, so it was okay!"

"...Oh...you didn't forget anything did you?"

"Nope!"

"Scarf? Gloves? Lead pipe?"

"Da, I got them!"

"Good."

* * *

**A/N: Man, this was fun~**

**Alaska: Formally part of the Russian Empire. Sold to the U.S in 1867. However, it didn't gain official U.S. territory status until 1912. Even then, it didn't become a state until January 3, 1959. It is the least populated state in the U.S. despite it being the largest in area.** **Domestic violence and other violent crimes are also at high levels in the state; this is in part linked to alcohol abuse. It makes me depressed how fitting that was since she's Russia's kid, who is often portrayed as slightly homicidal and downright scary in Hetalia. As well as obsessed with vodka. Sigh... Due to the high crime rate, America makes her carry a lead pipe around for self defense. She wields it with a scarily violent and precise accuracy.  
**

**Russia likes sunflowers (cannon) and so does Alaska, being under his control for a while. The state fish of Alaska is salmon.**

**Alaska's human name is Ivana (Pet name Vanya, the same as Ivan's) Jones Braginski. Russia left quite an influence on her, even though other states have a larger Russian-American population, da? Uh, da means yes btw.  
**

**Review~!  
**


	9. New York

**_Meeting #7: PUNK MUSIC ORIGINATED IN ME, STAMP BASTARD!_**

America was annoyed. Really, really annoyed. I mean, it was good that the nations were learning about their children. Maybe the (unawarely) neglectful idiots would try to be a larger part of their lives now. That would be good. His kids deserved another parental figure to shower them with the loving, adoring, attention they deserved. However...

"Comrade, let Alaska become one with me again, da?" This was just plain _obnoxious._

"FOR THE TWELFTH TIME RUSSIA, **NO! **I'M NOT GIVING IVANA TO YOU!**" **America barked, arms crossing in a X-ing _"Hell_ no, fucker!" motion. Russia smiled and Koled.

"But she is mine, so she should be with Mother Russia, da?"

"She's _ours_, you damn idiot!"

"She looks more like me."

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!"

The nations stared as America and Russia (once again) fought over the custody of their daughter (shudder) Alaska. Those who hadn't been there quickly heard from Prussia about the meeting of the small state daughter of Russia and America. Of course, him being _Prussia_, no one believed it. Then China confirmed it, and the world felt a large amount of fear. Russia then started asking America to secede Alaska back to Russia. America's response was, "When Hell freezes over".

Russia response was that Hell had already frozen over thanks to General Winter back at his place.

America punched him.

Thus, the "Let Alaska become one with Russia again-Hell no are you fucking _crazy_" arguments began. Belarus was on Russia's side of course, mostly because she thought that it would be nice if she and her big brother had a daughter together when they were married. Which would never happen. Russia would probably kill himself first. Belarus shot up next to America.

"Give us Alaska..." She intoned creepily, and America twitched (Belarus was a _whole_ other world of scary), "Give her to us..." America shuddered and turned to the equally terrified Russia. "If I give her to you," he hissed to the large nation, "then she'll be subjected to _her,_" he jerked his head to Belarus, who glared, waves of malice oozing from her. Russia considered this. "Discuss after the meeting, da?" He whispered, casting a fearful glance to his sister. America nodded curtly, and edged away from the deranged female country, who growled and latched herself to Russia's arm adoringly, to his despair. America quickly made his way to the front. "HEY! MEETING'S STARTING!" He yelled, opening a bottle of Coke (when did that get there?) and taking a large gulp to calm his nerves. The nations moved to their seats, even more nations creeping in from the snack room. Romano and Spain edged in, Romano bright red and Spain smiling ecstatically. America took in their ruffled clothes and swollen lips and decided he did _not_ want to know.

America beamed at the nations and began the meeting per usual. Talking about his normal bizarre ideas, America let his mind wander as the rehearsed ridiculousness poured out of his mouth. He began thinking about plans for the environment. The West had been rather insistent about it, and America would admit it wouldn't be so bad to work on improving Mother Nature. He wondered what was he talking about...wait, was he talking about vampires?

"...stop the vampire menace?" England repeated incredulously, and America glowed with fake enthusiasm, wailing in embarrassment inwardly. _Vampires? _He thought loudly, though he continued to smile and reinforce his unthought claim to save what little face he had, _why did I have to say __**vampires?**_

"Mind drift off while publicly speaking again?"

"You know it..." Ameirca grumbled before starting and turning to the door. A slim male figure was leaning against the open doorway languidly. He was facing away, and the shadowing made it hard to see his face. It was very dramatic, which put the nations on edge. They tensed, while America grinned roughly. "Hey. It's been awhile." His head turned and leaned on the door lazily. He smirked widely. "Yeah. 'Sup _Pa_?" He emphasized the last word teasingly and America rolled his eyes. "Haha, real funny, _New Netherlands_." America shot back, and the actual Netherlands shot up from his sleepy position. "Huh? Did someone say my name?" He apparently missed the 'New' part. The kid chuckled and pushed himself from the door and sauntered to America.

He was...cool. That was the only word the nations could think to describe America's newest state. Wearing tight (but not skinny) black jeans, an "I Heart NY" T shirt over a black long sleeve, and a charcoal gray trench coat that billowed at his thighs, the world had to admit that this state looked rather sophisticated. Ipod brand ear buds were slung around his neck, the white cord disappearing in his coat pocket. His golden blonde hair was spiked up in the front but it gradually fell to rest naturally at the back of his neck and his emerald eyes gleamed mischievously. He smirked again, and some of the female nations sighed, causing alarm in the males.

He and America embraced (in a totally manly way), chuckling. They didn't look anything alike, nor did they sound alike. The nations had to wonder how they were related. The kid spoke, and about 6 languages fell out of his mouth smoothly, and America answered back just as smoothly.

Italian, Dutch, Russian, Dutch again, Chinese, Dutch, Spanish, some more Dutch...the kid obviously like Dutch. America laughed at something he said (in Dutch) and turned to the globe. "Hey, everybody, this is my eleventh son," He gestured to the teen next to him, who gave a playful little bow, "New York." New York saluted. "_Hoe gaat het (How's it going)_?" He said cheekily and Netherlands, still tired and not realizing he was automatically answering in Dutch, said "_Goede (Good)._" New York nodded and pulled a bright red apple out of his pocket and after polishing it on his shirt, took a generous bite. "Cool," he said through a mouthful of apple, "I'm New York, the big apple." He paused to glance down at the mentioned fruit in his hand and shrugged, taking another bite. He turned and grinned. "Yo! Uncle Matt!" He waved enthusiastically to Canada, who returned the wave just as enthusiastically. "Hey. How's Velte?"

"He's awesome! Man, I love that beaver."

"He is a pretty cool beaver, eh?" The two laughed geniely over their love of beavers. America face palmed. "I still don't get _why_ you chose a _beaver_ as your state animal."

"Don't diss beavers! Beavers are the shit! That, and apples and milk."

"..."

New York glanced around and glared at England, who shrank back startled. "Um. Yes?" England said warily. Honestly, he had been thrilled to hear that he was New York. One of his and America's (insert blush) and a former part of the British Empire. But he didn't seem to like him...granted, England didn't think he'd be _excited_ to see him, but he didn't expect the death glare. New York scowled. "Nothing, you stupid thieving Stamp bastard." England choked. "_Excuse me?_" New York huffed. "You heard me. You're _such_ a bastard," New York continued to England's growing rage, "I mean, I get why Liz hates your guts, with that tea thing, but _dude._ First, you tax us on paper-seriously, man, paper? Why _paper?_- and then you steal my music!" His glare increase and he pointed to his chest yelling, "PUNK MUSIC ORIGINATED IN ME, DAMMIT!" England gaped. "It certainly did _not_!" America coughed.

"Uh, actually England," America said meekly, drawing the attention of an enraged Brit, "Punk started in New York in the 1960's. One of your guys that was managing one of the bands went back to London and started it up there in 1975." England's mouth dropped. "_WHAT?_" He shrieked. "But-He-I-_What?" _New York snorted and turned his back on England. "Man, you're so lame, Stamp bastard," New York drawled, to piss England off, "I was _perfectly _happy with being New Netherlands, but nooooo, you just _had_ to kick him out." New York sighed wearily. "Why couldn't I keep the name New Netherlands?" He muttered, "It sounds so much cooler." America patted him on the shoulder.

"'Cuz England has custody issues?" Ameirca offered, hoping to console the moping state, "I mean, I would be kinda territorial too if I had a love child with Netherlands too." Netherlands and England choked. "WHAT?"

New York sighed and finished his apple, trudging to the door. "Whatever," he waved a hand dismissively, "I'm off. Later Dad." America waved. "Later!" New York grinned at Canada, "Later Uncle Matt! Hockey this weekend? I'll bring Velte." Canada smirked ferally in a very UnCanada like expression (he was a _demon_ when it came to hockey), seriously turning Prussia on, "You know it. I'll mop the rink with you." Prussia felt faint with a sudden punch of lust toward the normally timid man. _Mein __**Gott**__, that's hot. _New York however just smirked competitively. "Bring it." He reached the door and was about to walk out when he was halted by England and Netherlands shouts.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY LOVE CHILD?" They screamed and New York blinked. "Uh, well, you know," He said awkwardly, "Former Dutch colony, former British colony," He coughed and melded his fingers together in a meshing motion, "Things kinda merge after awhile." Netherlands gaped while England, once again, passed out with a thud. New York stared then backed away. "Ooookkaaayyy..."He drew out cautiously and quickly walked out of the room, yelling bye to America and Canada. They could hear the loud munching of teeth breaking an apple's skin as he walked down the hall.

The nations (mainly a flabbergasted Netherlands) stared at America, who coughed.

"Uh, also adopted."

The Netherlands passed out next to England.

**A/N: Punk music did actually originate in New York. It started in the 1960's in NY city, and then some English guy who was managing one of the bands went back to England and started it there, where it became HUGE. However, everyone says that punk music originated in England, when according to wikipedia it didn't. And hey, it's wikipedia, but I still have a gut feeling that it started in the U.S. anyway. **

**New York was formally called New Netherlands when it belonged to the Netherlands. However, England either bought or kicked the Netherlands out (I'm assuming kicked out since it's, well, England) and he became British territory. While Massachusetts was pissed about the Tea thing, New York hated the Stamp Act. The Sons of Liberty was organized due to the Stamp Act and the Stamp Act Congress was held in New York, which led to the Declaration of Rights and Grievances. Which was basically the 13 colonies bitching about how they hated the Stamp Act and stuff like that. **

**New York's boarders Canada to the north, and is home to the New York Rangers (Hockey team). Also, the New York animal, randomly enough, is a beaver. Their state fruit is (duh) an apple and their state beverage is milk. **

**Review! Please?**


	10. Texas

**A/N: Wassup? I don't own anything.**

_**Meeting # 8: Join the League of Former Nations Today!**_

_**...Seriously. We're kinda desperate.**_

_Hmmm...I wonder why Lance came today..._America thought idly as the nations (himself included) tried to revive the unconscious Netherlands and England. France tried molesting, Belgium tried chocolate, Spain tried poking, and Italy started drawing on England's face, but was stopped by Germany. America sighed and left the room, and walked down the hallway, thinking hard. _Where-? Oh!_ America thought to himself gleefully, finding the smelling salts in the Med Station. _Found 'em!_ He trotted back to the meeting to find several panicked and yelling nations. Slipping past them, he let the smelling salts do their magic and both Netherlands and England groaned tiredly and began waking up. America beamed happily, put the strong salts in his pocket, thinking back on why New York decided to come. _Maybe he heard about the revelation of his siblings and decided he wanted to see Netherlands._ America mused and decided it was the most likely reason. America highly doubted that the Big Apple wanted to see England, since he really didn't like him all that much. He was pretty neutral towards the island after the Revolution, but then the whole punk thing in England happened and he became pretty pissed.

"What happened?" Netherlands groaned as he woke up and Belgium threw herself at him excitedly. "_Broer (Brother)!_" The Belgian squealed happily, "You're awake!" Netherlands blinked. "Uh, yeah." He shook his head as to clear it as England slowly sat up, "I had this really weird dream-"

"I can't wait to get to know my nephew better~!" Belgium continued to Netherlands' horror. "He seems really nice~! Oh, we can go on a picnic, and we'll invite Luxembourg of course..." Belgium continued planning a day with New York much to Netherlands confusion. America smiled at Belgium, glad that _someone_ was enthusiastic about getting to know one of his states in a nonstalker like way.

"...and we'll see some of his tourist spots! Like the Statue of Liberty! Oh, he looked a lot like you _Broer,_ such a sweetie pie~" Netherlands blinked. "That...wasn't a dream?" Belgium blinked and Luxembourg, who had snuck up behind her, face palmed. "No," Belgium said puzzled, "it wasn't a dream." Netherlands looked shell shocked. "...Oh." He squeaked and England looked pale. America ignored England (for now) and spoke to Netherlands. "Uh, hey Netherlands," He said cheerfully, the Low Country snapping his attention to the American, "If you want to get to know Lance better, I'm sure he'll be really happy," America told him cheerfully, "He really likes your culture and stuff. Mostly the whole 'everything is legal' thing," America admitted, noting that Netherlands seemed to straighten a bit with pride. "Huh." Netherlands muttered thoughtfully, then frowned, "Lance?" America shrugged. "I think it's supposed to be after Lancelot," He confessed sheepishly, to England's interest. "His name used to be Ryker, but when his colony name changed to New York, he changed his human name too." Netherlands scowled.

"Ryker's a better name," He grumbled, glaring at England, who glared back. "Well, I for one think Lance is a perfectly acceptable name." He huffed, standing up to face America, and his face turned a little hopeful, "Does, uh, Lance want to meet me at all?" America winced a little, to England's dismay. "Uh..."America swallowed uncomfortably, "Not really. I mean," he said hurriedly to spare the remaining uncrushed feelings, "he won't turn you away if you visit him...I think." he muttered the last part as an afterthought, sending a tangible arrow of rejection through England's chest, to Netherlands pride. "Kid has good taste," He smirked and stood up, lighting up a cigarette. America rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Haha...uh, I guess," He then turned to England...

...who was sitting in the corner with a raincloud of despair hovering over him. America flinched. _That doesn't look good._ Someone slid up next to America and whistled. "Damn," a southern accent drawled, "he's lookin' fit to be tied." America turned to see Texas standing next to him. America smiled. "Hey Tex!" He said cheerfully, subconsciously touching his glasses. Texas noticed and rolled his eyes. "You're not tellin' people that those glasses are me, are ya?" America laughed nervously, "Uh...no?" Texas faced palmed.

England peeked over his shoulder from his corner of despair. A man only a few years younger than America stood next to mentioned nation. His earth brown hair was topped by a white felt cowboy hat. His blue eyes were a lapis color, and looked as free as the sky. He had a lanky build, a loose white T shirt with "LONE STAR FRIENDSHIP" in big black letters on the chest hung off his frame. However, while lean, he was obviously very fit and muscular. Dust smeared blue jeans were tucked into brown cowboy boots that were smeared with reddish clay. Coiled rope caked with more dust hung from a hidden belt loop. In fact, he was covered in dust. It was in his hair, on his clothes, and it was on his white hat. However, there were blackish smudges on his fingers and his shirt as well. America laughed and clapped the young man on the shoulder. Unlike the other states who were in their pre/mid teens, this one looked to be in his very late teens or young twenties. He turned to the nations and tipped his hat politely.

"Howdy, ya'll," He said in a thick southern accent, "Name's Zach, but ya'll can call me Tex'." The nations all simultaneously tilted their head in confusion.

"Texas." America clarified and there were many "Ooohhh"'s of realization. Texas suddenly stiffened and ducked behind America, trembling. America blinked down at him. "Uh, Zach-?"

"Don't let 'er take me!" He squeaked fearfully, peeking over America's shoulder. "I don't wanna be part of her again!" America sighed, understanding what he was talking about (unlike the majority of the world).

"You're not going to become part of her again. We _won_ that war."

"So? Do ya _know_ how pissed she was 'bout lettin' me go?"

"Um..." America looked a little embarrassed. "Heh...sorry about that Mexico." He said meekly, causing the female nation to blush awkwardly. There was a canyon of silence as the two nations and state remembered the Mexican-American War and their battle for Texas. Texas trembled, glaring suspiciously at Mexico, who raised her hands in peace offering. He cautiously stepped from behind America, lifting his T shirt to pat a small handgun resting in it's holster at his hip reassuringly, silently telling Mexico that he was armed and ready to shoot if needed. America coughed. "So..." he said clumsily, "Whatcha doing here?" Texas blinked and shrugged. "Just passin' through," he said casually, "Was at one of our meetin's." America nodded. "Ah." The nations blinked confused. Germany blinked suddenly. "Hold on," he said abruptly, gaining the two Americans and the rest of the world's attention, "I thought America's glasses represented Texas." Texas slammed a hand to his face.

"Dagnabbit!," He mumbled irritably, "Ya told them your glasses was _me_?" America coughed. Texas sighed. "It'sa family joke," he explained long suffering, "Dad's vision started goin' south 'round the time I was annexed into the U.S., so he called 'em 'Texas' as a joke." The nations blinked. "Wait, you actually _need_ glasses?" England asked confused.

"...Yes."

"...Seriously?" South Korea asked, genuinely surprised. Nations rarely _needed_ glasses. Most who wore them used them as representations or as fashion statements (coughAustriacough). America sighed. Honestly, he was a little humiliated that he needed glasses, so he used the 'Texas representation' to hide the fact he actually needed them. Apparently he looked pretty sharp, since the girls that would always come onto him when he went out (seriously, they never seemed to end!) would tell him so, but still. He was a nation, the world's only (at the moment) superpower ! He shouldn't need _glasses_!

"...They're reading glasses." America mumbled, face pink. The nations regarded him curiously. America hurriedly turned back to Texas. "So, how was the meeting?" Texas shrugged. "Good. We're going out Saturday." America beamed, to the confusion of the globe. "Awesome!" America chirped. "I'm glad you guys made that club! It's a good bonding tool!" Texas rolled his eyes and turned and walked to the door. "Yeah, yeah. I'm goin' now," He drawled, raising a hand in farewell. America waved back energetically. "Later Zach. Family dinner Friday! Be there!"

"Sounds good." Texas suddenly paused and turned to Prussia, fishing a dirt dusted white card out of his pocket. "Call us if yer interested." was all he said as he handed the bewildered ex-country the card out of his pocket and marched off. Prussia stared after him confused as he walked out of the room before turning back to the card. He raised an eyebrow as he stared at the black print interestedly.

Ruby red eyes absorbed the card's contents fascinated.

_League of Former Nations_

_President: Texas_

_Vice President: Hawaii_

_Currently recruiting members, if interested call (512) 566-3197_

Prussia grinned wickedly, much to Austria's fear.

He needed to find a phone.

* * *

**A/N: Texas was it's own Republic for a while (as was Hawaii). During that time, it wanted to be annexed into the U.S., but we were like, "...eh." When we finally did, it really pissed Mexico (who used to own Texas) off and triggered the Mexican-American War. We kicked their asses, since we were better supplied and all that. It was actually pretty mean since they were so unprepared and stuff. The U.S. got a lot of grief about it, even from U.S. citizens. Not that I blame them. As an American (U.S.) citizen, I can bluntly, and with a strange pride, say that we are currently the world's douche.**

**In Hetalia cannon, America's glasses represent Texas (his hair cowlick thing represents Nantucket. I always draw America with Nantucket, but my friend always asks me "Is that Canada?" HE'S NOT CANADA DAMMIT! ...That's oddly reversed, but still!)**

**I deeply apologize if I utterly destroyed/butchered the southern accent. I _really_ do.**

**Ryker is a Dutch name (for boys). New York's human name was formally Ryker when he was New Netherlands, but he decided to "go with the annoying British flow" and changed it to Lance when England took over.**


	11. Maryland

**A/N: Yo. Again.**

**_Meeting #9: I'M THE HERO(INE)!_  
**

Canada was concerned. The states had been popping in and out of their meetings lately, and Canada will admit that he found the nation's reactions hilarious. But he was concerned for two reasons.

Reason One: They weren't getting anything done. Even more so than normal. And normally they wouldn't get anything really done, so it was _bad_.

Reason Two: Since Texas, Prussia wouldn't stop texting.

Not that texting in itself was bad, but it was _Prussia_. That just screamed danger.

Prussia glanced out of the corner of his eye at the shy Canadian, who was staring down at his polar bear (Kuma...something), biting his lip nervously. Prussia inwardly squealed. _Cute! _His phone dinged.

_LoneStar512: Wat up w/u and Canada? _Prussia blushed and glanced toward Canada again quickly, and once assured that he didn't see the text, he replied,

_Awesome5meters: Nthing._

_LoneStar512: ...r u sure?_

_Awesome5meters: ...yes._

_AlohaParadise50: Im not buying that._

_LoneStar512: Srsly._

_Awesome5meters: ...shaddup. Dont mock my awesome! D:_

_LoneStar512: W/e. Just grow a pair and do him already ;)_

Prussia, who was drinking some water at that moment, spat it out (awesomely, of course) to Canada's concern. _Oh Gott! Can't let him see the texts!_ Prussia panicked (still awesomely) and shoved his phone in his pocket, convincing Canada that he was fine and that mere unawesome water couldn't hurt him since he was awesome and awesome obviously triumphed over unawesome. Canada smiled and giggled slightly (_So __**CUTE**__!_) and turned back to Kumawhatever. Prussia snuck out his phone again.

_AlohaParadise50: Tex! Dont b so insensitive! :O_

_LoneStar512: Wat? Cmon, we all kno that they both srsly need to get laid._

_Awesome5meters: R u implying that my awesome 5 meters cant get laid?_

_LoneStar512: …_

_AlohaParadise50: …_

_Awesome5meters: ...u guys suck._

_AlohaParadise50: And yet u come over to our places to play cards on Saturdays._

_Awesome5meters: ...Shaddup._

Yes, Prussia had joined the League of Former Nations. The club was small, consisting of only himself, Texas, and Hawaii. Mostly it was them gathering at Texas or Hawaii's house and playing cards, going out, etc. Usually Hawaii's house, 'cuz _damn_ did she have some crazy ass fish! She also had really tasty, alcoholic, colorful drinks, but that poi stuff was crap. She punched him for saying that, and for a 10 year old body, she punched _hard_.

Texas sympathized. Apparently, _all _the states (except for Virginia and West Virginia) had said that poi was crap. Thus, she had punched all of them too. They were pretty cool though, and hey, no other European nation (that Prussia knew of) could surf! He couldn't that well either, but he was learning, unlike those losers.

"YO! THE HEROINE HAS ARRIVED!" Prussia blinked and heard England snort in annoyance.

"America, I don't know why you suddenly decided to refer yourself as a girl but, frankly you sound ridic..u...lous..." England trailed off as he gaped at the (loud) figure. Said figure beamed confusedly.

She had pale skin that had been caressed by the sun, but not kissed. Her hair was light sandy brown and cut to her shoulders, her messy bangs falling into big bright blue eyes. Her bright oblivious smile lit up the room, as she glowed at the nations cheerfully. She wore a dark blue jean jacket, a white tank top, and black Levi jeans. Red All Star converses adorned her feet, the dirty laces tickling the linoleum floor. Unlike California with her (slightly ridiculously) large chest, her body was much more proportional and modest. A army green book bag with decorative patches rested at her hip.

All in all, she was basically a mini female America.

"Yo!" She repeated loudly, to the befuddled nations. "Have any of you seen my awesome hero dad? The amazing heroine that is me wants to say hi!" The nations that didn't really get along with America (and there were _so_ many) twitched. There was _another_ one.

"MARY~!" America randomly burst in squealing, and Thailand toppled over in surprise. India moved to help him up as America bounded past them to the Mini America. Mini America beamed and slapped his hand in a totally heroic(?) greeting. "Dad! What's up?"

"Besides being amazingly heroic, nothing much." The two scary look alikes beamed at each other. _The fuuuuuck?_ Was the nations of the world's reasonable thought.

"The fuck?" was England's reasonable statement. America turned and beamed, clapping the girl's shoulder. "This is my little heroine Maryland!" America grandly introduced, and she flashed them a thumbs up. "You can call me Mary." She said happily.

"...Why...is she so much like you?" Maryland pouted. "'Cuz he's the hero and as "America in Miniture" it is my job to rise up as the awesome heroine!" She paused. "Why do you sound like you've just been told you're Catholic when you wanna be Protestant?" She frowned. "...Or is it that I want to be Protestant but I'm being told to be Catholic?" She turned to America. "Dad, am I Catholic, or am I Protestant?" America sweatdropped. "Uhhhh..." Maryland sighed. "Catholic or Protestant? God I just don't _know_."

Iraq and Iran started to cry about how there was _another _America. No one really blamed them.

America and Maryland firmly decided not to read the atmosphere and didn't notice.

England despaired. _How come none of my old 13 are like me? **How**?_

France prayed that at least this one would have better taste in food.

Then, to France's horror, Maryland pulled out a Big Mac from her book bag.

France _may_ have cried.

Maybe.

* * *

**A/N: Maryland, thanks to the extreme variation in geography and climate, has been nicknamed "America in miniature". Like I wasn't going to take advantage of _that_. Also, remember 5th grade and you learn all the states and their capitals which you totally forget one month after the test. Well, you're ten, so your teachers take pity on your young brain and never _actually_ mention that Washington D.C. is it's own separate state/district thingy. Thus, I thought for about 4 years after that that Washington D.C. was _actually _part of Maryland (Doesn't help that it's surrounded by the state). _And_ Washington D.C. is America's vital regions (thus a mini America) so yeah.**

**Maryland was made to be a English Catholic colony. But then there were Puritan revolts and it was turned Protestant. But _then_ they crushed the revolt and it was a Catholic tolerant state again. _Then_ Catholicism went down in England and it was turned Protestant _again_. Right now, according it wikipeida, the majority is Protestant. So I think Maryland is a little confused about which religion she follows, much like England.**

**Iran and Iraq? C'mon people, that ain't hard. CoughIran/Iraq WarCough. Well, at least we pulled out of Iraq (I think). Sigh, Dammit America.**

**Review?  
**


	12. Rhode Island

**A/N: 'Sup? I own squat.**

_**Meeting #10: In Which Rhode Island passes a 'bubbler' and fears that his siblings got sex changes without telling anyone  
**_

"Why couldn't I have been taller?" The young boy sighed sadly. He was _supposed_ to be physically 15-16, but he was only about 5''2. Compared to his siblings, and most other boys, he was a freakin' midget. It _sucked_.

He trudged down the hallway, cursing slightly. Where the hell was he? He was looking for Del, but got lost. Dang.

_Okay, I **know **__I passed that bubbler already._ Rhode Island inwardly shouted as his gaze landed on a water fountain. _Where the hell am I?_ The small(est) state was about to yell to the heavens in pure frustration, when he heard the sounds of heavenly arguing and pissed off nations. Doing an inner happy dance, Rhode Island dashed to the wonderful sounds of infuriated screaming and breaking glass. Skidding to a halt in front of a large set of doors, he paused, debating whether this was the right one. It could change his fate, it could change the world, it could-

"SURRENDER YOUR VITAL REGIONS TO THE AWESOME ME!"

"GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU ALBINO FREAK!"

"_**OW!**_ FRYING PAN BITCH!"

"DIE!" ...Yeah, this was definitely the right room. He wondered why Penn was calling 'Hio a bitch though. Rhode shrugged. Eh, Penn was Penn. She would never be understood. Rhode Island slammed the door open dramatically (he had to be extra dramatic to make up for his small size) and exclaimed in exaggerated and playful tones, "Why must you insist in claiming our capitals, dear sister of mine?" He blinked, noticing a extremely feminine Hungarian women and a masculine albino. The woman was gripping the white haired guy's collar and had a frying pan raised over his head lethally. They both, along with the rest of the room blinked at him. He cocked his head, very confused. "...Penn?" He asked totally baffled on why his normally busty sister was no longer...well, busty. "...Did you go through a sex change without telling us? I won't judge you," he hastily continued when all their mouths dropped, "but seriously, what the hell?"

* * *

Prussia felt his face become a blank slab of confusion. He was doing the norm, being awesome, defending himself from the frying pan bitch, awesomely seducing Canada (and failing since Canada didn't realize that he was being hit on), and ensuring that West stayed awesome (through annoyance) when some dirty blonde shrimp barged in calling him his sister.

...And then accused the awesome him of getting a sex change. Like hell would he ever give up his awesome 5 meters! The kid then glanced over Hungary and did a doubled take. "Wh-?" He spluttered, "WHY DO YOU HAVE BREASTS?" He shrieked, looking _very_ freaked out. "Did EVERYONE go through a sex change and not tell me?" Prussia dully heard Austria stand up furiously, but was too much in shock to notice. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. What the fuck was going on?

* * *

What the _fuck_ was going on? Rhode Island was panicking. His two sexual tension challenged siblings had gotten _sex changes_! WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? His phone rang. He slowly, not breaking eye contact with the confused nations, pulled it out of his back pocket. The caller ID read Pennsylvania. Rhode Island blinked, getting the slow creeping feeling that he was missing something. _Really _missing something. "...Hello?" He answered unsure. His "dear" sister's loud obnoxious voice answered, "Yo! What's up _Kleine (Little One)_?" Rhode Island felt that similar, and in this once in a life time scenario, welcomed, irritation. "I'M NOT LITTLE YOU PRUSSIAN WEIRDO!" He yelled automatically into the phone, not noticing the strange stares he got.

"_Kleine, _you're 5''2."

"...Shut the fuck up bitch."

"_Wie auch immer (Whatever)._" Pennsylvania breezily answered, and Rhode Island smacked his forehead."Don't be so mad, shrimp," Rhode twitched, "and take it out on my supreme Prussian awesome." Rhode Island seriously wanted to bash his head against the wall. Only 2 minutes on the phone with his sister and he wanted to knock himself unconscious. Lovely. Speaking of knocking people unconscious...

"Hey, Penn?"

"_Ja?_"

"...What does Prussia look like?"

"...He looks awesome of course. Stupid."

"...So basically," Rhode Island said slowly, _finally_ figuring out what was going on, "he looks _exactly _like you, but male?"

"Pretty much. I mean, why bother changing awesome when it's already the pinnacle of awesome? That's just unawesomely illogical."

"...Goodbye Penn."

"_WARTEN!__ (WAIT)!"_ She shouted, causing him to jerk the phone away from his precious eardrums. He settled the phone back. "Yes?"

"What do ya call a water fountain?"

"A bubbler." Rhode Island answered bluntly, rolling his eyes while hearing her amused loud "Keshesheshesheshe!" thing of laughter. "Man, I needed that," She gasped, "Ohio is _such_ an ass."

"_...Goodbye_ Pennsylvania."

"Bye~!" He hung up the phone, running a hand through his hair. "Freakin' Prussian idiots." He mumbled, finally looking back at the stupefied nations. He held up his hands in peace, realizing his totally epic error. "Hey, uh," he coughed awkwardly, rubbing his neck, "sorry about that. Thought you guys were someone else." Austria fumed. "How many other people do you know are albino and wield frying pans?" He exploded and Rhode Island sighed. "Not a lot," he admitted, "Well, except for my sister and brother," He pointed to his head and circled his finger in the crazy motion, "but their batshit insane." He shook his head, muttering "Damn Hungarians and Prussians. Freakin' idiots." He laughed sheepishly. "Siblings, huh?" He said lightly in a futile attempt to break the ice. "Whaddya going to do."

Awkward silence. Rhode Island shifted. Damn. They were all taller than him. Fuck. "Uh, I'm Rhode Island." He introduced finally. "It's uh, _nice_, to meet you?" He winced when it came out as a question. England suddenly popped up in front of him, to his shock, and he recoiled. "Gah!"

"Do you hate me?" England demanded, and Rhode blinked. "...Huh?"

"Do you hate me?" England looked a little tearful and desperate. Rhode figured he must've met Liz already. "Met Liz huh?" He asked sympathetically and England blinked. "No, why?" Rhode Island sweatdropped. "Uh..."

England despaired. "All of my children hate me." he moaned angstily. "Uh, I don't _hate_ you," Rhode Island said clumsily, "I mean, it's not like I admire you or anything, but you know." England perked up. "You don't hate me?"

"...No?" Rhode Island immediately was crushed in strong British arms as they choked him in a thrilled hug. "Ugh..."

"Jolly good!" England exclaimed, tears of happiness in his eyes. Finally! One of his and America's that didn't absolutely despise him! Rhode Island squirmed the second of contact yelling, "PERSONAL SPACE! PERSONAL SPACE ! GOD, WHAT IS _WRONG _WITH YOU!" Rhode Island shoved him off. "Geez! You don't go hugging people like that! I like my space!" Rhode Island scowled at the shocked England, his feathers (metaphorically speaking) quite ruffled. He huffed and turned away. "Gimme some independence. God," he muttered rolling his eyes, not noticing the arrow of despair, rejection, and pain that shot through England's chest at the word 'independence'.

"...Your sister wields a frying pan?" Austria asked cautiously, deciding to change the subject, and looked at the teen with trepidation. He _was_ a state after all. No matter how sane he _seemed_. Rhode snorted. "Hell no," the Ocean State scoffed, "Pennsylvania? Wield a frying pan? Please, that's all Ohio." They blinked. "So...your brother wields the frying pan?" Rhode Island nodded stoutly. "Yup. I think it's a Hungarian thing." He admitted. "It's like the Prussian "I am awesome and like cute things!" thing." Prussia blinked. "...What?"

"You know, Penn." Blank stares. "Pennsylvania?" More dull blinking. "...Seriously?"

The nations faces were totally blank at this point. Rhode Island smacked his forehead. "Come _on!_ King of Prussia?" Still blank. "The city? Come on people, it's mall is freakin' huge!" Rhode Island sighed. "Seriously, that place is freaking ridiculous." Rhode Island still didn't get why she needed such a large shopping complex. He really didn't.

Then again, girls had this weird obsession with shopping...Something _he_ didn't really understand, nor did he want to understand. He shook his head, sighing, pulling out a thermos of coffee milk. Ah~, coffee milk. Rhode Island inwardly squealed as the warm syrup slid down his throat. He smiled happily down at the thermos as he walked out the door, totally ignoring as all the nations behind him forgot about his existence in favor for mobbing Prussia for explanations.

Man, Dad was right. Coffee really _did_ kick tea's ass.

* * *

**A/N: Righto. Rhode Island's nickname is the Ocean State. It is the smallest in area (poor guy). Rhode Island tends to be rather independent. It was the first to say "Screw you, Britain!" and declare independence (May 4, 1776). The first violent act/battle of the American Revolution happened in Rhode Island too. Rhode Island was the also the last state to ratify the Constitution. Rhode Island likes his space. No touchie.**

**Ohio has the largest Hungarian-American population of all states (according to Wikipedia)**

**King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. Not a county, but a fairly large city. It has some decent tourist spots (and an EPIC name). Pennsylvania Dutch means German or "Teutonic " (Squee! Prussia!), not actual Dutch. Hence, Pennsylvania speaks German.  
**

**Rhode Island slang for water fountain is 'bubbler'.**

**Coffee milk is one of the Rhode Island food/drink specialties. It is also their state beverage.**

**Review!  
**


	13. Michigan

_**Meeting #11: ...Who are you? **_

Her life kinda sucked.

...

It really did.

I mean sure, she was a United State.

Sure, she was had the eighth largest population.

_Sure_, she had the most cars.

And yeah, she had the largest National Park System and the most freshwater _ever_. But...

"Who are you?" Shiga Prefecture asked confused in Engrish. She sighed, clutching her (usually) tame wolverine.

"I'm Michigan..."

* * *

Michigan (Michi) loved her Uncle Matt.

She really did. He was kind, sweet, and (when he put his mind to it) a hardcore, ass-kicking, motherfucker.

But she wished he wasn't so...invisible.

Because the hardly noticed nation tended to pass that particular trait down to his own. It was pretty annoying. Granted, she was in actuality one of France's, but when he lost the Seven Years War, she went to Canada and England's (Mostly Canada's since she was once _part_ of Upper Canada or whatever) care and the invisibility rubbed off. _Apple Blossom!_

Michigan sighed as she left the get together meeting of her and her sister (and brother) state. As usual, they didn't remember her until she reminded them (about 6 times). Her blue backpack was slung over one shoulder as she trudged down the hallway. Her caramel golden wavy (French/Canadian) locks were pulled back into a ponytail, with a green rain hat with white trim covering her head. She wore a matching windbreaker with dark blue skinny jeans tucked into black rain boots. Her large sky blue eyes blinked as she thought about whether she needed to go to the store or not. "Do I need to go to the store Mastodon?" She asked and her wolverine's head poked out of her backpack. Mastodon blinked, silently asking, "Who are you?"

"I'm Michigan. I feed you." Michigan clarified bluntly and her state animal nodded slowly. "Do we need to go the store?" The wolverine paused.

"Maple." Mastodon said. Michigan blinked. Mastodon only said that if Uncle Matt was nearby. Or if they needed maple syrup.

And due to Pennsylvania bursting into her house at 11:00 pm last week, she knew she was fully stocked for at _least_ a month.

Which meant Canada was near. Michigan listened carefully, then followed the sounds of the screams. On her way, she passed her brother Anthony, who was drinking out of a thermos and looking content.

"Anthony." He walked past her. She rolled her eyes. "Anthony!" Kept walking.

"RHODE ISLAND, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Rhode Island jolted, spilling some of his (what she assumed was hot) drink on his hand. He cursed. "Mother of-!" He turned and tilted his head. "Hey Michi! When did you get here?"

Michigan face palmed.

* * *

After getting the scoop from her small (haha, sucker) brother, she continued to the Meeting of the Nations. She wanted to say hi to Uncle Matt and Kumajirou. She entered the room with no problem, and none of the nations that were harassing the flustered and confused Pennsylvania-esque man noticed her slip in. She watched in interest as they pestered him with questions like, "When?" and "How?" and "IF YOU TOOK AMERICA'S INNOCENCE I SWEAR TO GOD AND THE QUEEN I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Michigan shrugged and quietly slid past them to Uncle Matt, who watched them in a fashion a lot like her own. Quiet and, importantly, unnoticed. However, he seemed pretty flustered and was trying the best he could to get them to release the red eyed man.

"S-Stop!" Canada whisper yelled at a man with ridiculously thick eyebrows, who was attempting to punch the man through the other nations. "H-He didn't do anything! Oh, Maple!" He cursed, slumping a bit as the nation either ignored or remained oblivious to his protests. Michigan empathized. "Hi." Uncle Matt turned and smiled at her kindly. "Hey Michelle." he greeted softly, hugging her and patting Mastodon's head.

"Who?"

"Michigan."

"Oh." Mastodon went back to dozing. Canada winced and patted her shoulder in consolation of their shared agony. "What's going on?" Canada spazzed. "It's awful! They figured out about Pennsylvania's Prussian side, and now everyone's trying to kill Gilbert!" Michigan blinked. "You mean that guy-?"

"That guy, yes."

"Who you-?"

"Who I."

"And he-?"

"Not totally sure, but that's not really the point." Canada concluded sheepishly. "We've got to stop them." Michigan thought for a moment. "...We need beer." She said firmly, and Canada stiffened, before nodding solemnly.

* * *

See, giving Canada beer was a double edged sword. It was why no nation alive could remember ever seeing Canada drink except America and some of his more wild provinces. Michigan accidentally wandered into a bar and saw Canada beating the living _crap_ out of his citizens in a "friendly" bar fight.

He was, needless to say, pretty damn popular there.

Now on one hand, it was freakin' _awesome_ since he went all Vinland Viking Scandinavia Kickass Hockey Awesome.

On the other hand, he, well, went Vinland Viking Scandinavia Kickass Hockey Terrifying.

Michigan stayed in the corner, armed with a hockey stick, ready to beat Canada back when he went too out of control (which he would). Canada, accepting that this was the sacrifice that must be made to save the man he, uh, well, to save the sexy Gil- _Prussia_, was rapidly chugging a several bottles of beer. Michigan was impressed and slightly scared at the ease he did it.

Michigan saw Canada shift into "Drunk Vinland Viking Hockey Demon" mode, and readied her lethal stick of hockey. Canada snarled animalistically, and smashed a beer bottle savagely over what looked like Cuba's head, knocking him unconscious. _Happy Thoughts_, Michigan thought as Canada took out 4 more nations with the remaining beer bottles, screaming in what sounded like Norse. _Happy thoughts._

Prussia was fucked. He had a curious Russian, a perverted Frenchman, and a vengeful, and really pissed Brit on his hands. And all were trying to attack, molest, and or kill him brutally. He was fucked.

"_DIE!"_ A loud, brutal, and bellicose roar blasted his thoughts to smithereens with a rough foreign tongue that made England and France freeze and Russia turn curiously. Russia turned...

...and was slammed into the sweet blackness of unconsciousness with someone's fist. Prussia, France, and England froze with fear. Russia toppled, and they saw the almighty and powerful nation that was able to fell him with a single punch. They gaped.

"..._Matthieu?"_ France gasped. England twitched with horror and bafflement. Prussia just ogled.

There was Canada, sweet, timid, _adorable_, Canada, breathing hard, hair mussed, a broken beer bottle with red drips on the edges in hand, glaring primally at them with utter hatred and bloodlust.

It was, by far, the most erotic and _sexiest_ thing that Prussia had _ever_ seen.

He cursed at them in another foreign ancient language that even Prussia, old as he was, couldn't understand. It was rough, dangerous, and raw. It only aroused Prussia even more. Luckily for him, everyone was focused on the bloodthirsty Canadian and the 6, including Russia, nations that he had taken down with his _bare fists. _Canada stalked towards them like an sleek wild animal, hips swaying in a way that should be illegal, eyes glinting with a wild glare that was hot beyond words. He growled at them with the strange words again.

Just as Prussia was beginning to register how utterly smoking _hot_ that was, a strange girl in a raincoat jumped at Mattie with a hockey stick. She struggled with Mattie for a while, and (although Prussia didn't know it) as the alcohol began to wear off (Canada sobered up pretty quickly) she began pushing him back, muttering "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, _c'mon Mich, **find your happy place..**._" Eventually, to everyone's utter terror, shock, confusion, and on Prussia's end, arousal, she brought him down, Canada cursing and shrieking all the way. She forced him to the floor, where he muttered to himself confusedly, gripping his temples. She nodded to herself, still whispering about her "Happy place". She glanced over at them, and sighed. "Why can't I ever find my happy place and stay there?" She muttered glumly. Mastodon wandered over with Kumajirou. They blinked up at her.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Michigan, your owner." She informed the wolverine and he nodded before bumbling over to Russia and poking him with his nose. "Mastodon, stop poking Mr. Russia." Mastodon ignored her.

All remaining conscious nations creaked the heads towards her. They blinked. She blinked. Canada groaned with his now pounding head.

"...Who _are _you?" France asked, a little scared. She sighed.

"I'm Michigan."

"..."

"...Who?"

"Michigan."

"..."

"...the 26th state to enter the United States Union?"

"..."

"...Used to be part of New France?"

"..."

"Belonged to England for awhile, was looked after by Canada?"

"..."

"...I hate this world and _everyone _in it."

"...Huh?"

"Except you and Dad, Uncle Matt. You guys are cool."

"...Why...does it feel like I just downed a two-four?"

"...Uh..."

"Oh my God, what happened to Russia?"

"...I'm... going to go now."

"Wait, what-?"

"Bye."

And with that, Michigan grabbed the confused Mastodon and her hockey stick and got the _hell_ out of there.

* * *

**A/N: Yay for Michigan!**

**Alrighty! French explorers went to Michigan and put down some Catholic missions. Later some forts were added. Michigan was part of the Royal Province of New France from 1660 until France got his ass kicked by England in the Seven Years War. Michigan was handed over to England as dictated by the treaty (along with all land east of the Mississippi). During the war of 1812 Michigan was surrendered without a fight and they became the 26th state on January 26, 1837. They have the largest freshwater coastline _anywhere_, being boardered by 5 great lakes and Lake Saint Clair. Like stated, it has the highest car producing industry and the eighth highest population. The state animal is a wolverine (dead in the _state_ not the world, much like the California grizzly bear. Seriously, California _killed_ off their own state animal. Idiots) and their state fossil is Mastodon. Their state flower is the Apple Blossom. Their "sister" states are Shiga Prefecture, Japan and the Sichuan Province, People's Republic of China.  
**

**Two-Four is supposedly slang for a twenty four pack of beer in Canada, but hey, I could be wrong. Canada was first discovered by Norse sailors in 1000, thus making Canada secret Vinland Viking of AWESOME. He can't _actually_ be that polite all the time. He's Canada. He's fucking scary when he wants to be.**

**Review!  
**


	14. Vermont

**A/N: I own nothing! And someone asked why California wasn't part of the Former League of Nations, and it is explained in this chapter. See, the FLN doesn't have a lot of members since it's pretty new and not taken all that seriously. They're working on recruiting members. Very slowly, but they're working on it.**

**_Meeting #12: Bonjour, you bloody gits._**

Prussia's red eyes gleamed. The bright blue anemone swayed lazily in the tank. He reached in the warm tropical water of the tank and poked the tentacle and laughed as the anemone shrank into itself warily. He poked a pink one with the same results. He laughed some more, but he grunted as Hawaii hit him on the back of his head with what felt like a very thick book. "Ow! That's _not_ awesome!" Hawaii scowled, and her silent twin brother raised an eyebrow from the short table he was kneeling at. Prussia _still_ didn't know his name. He guessed it was Hawaii too, but with some special formality at the end. They didn't interact much, honestly. Hawaii (the girl) said that she represented the big island and the traditional values of the state, while her brother represented the little ones and the more modern values. That explained a lot when he first went to Hawaii's house and some random mini Japan answered the door.

Which Prussia found hilarious, because, apparently, the mini Japan _hated_ Japan. A lot.

Traditional Hawaii looped a lei around his neck and dragged him away from the fish tank. "ACK! NOT AWESOME, NOT AWESOME!"

"Shut up. We're getting a new member today!" Hawaii chirped happily and Prussia raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yup! We finally got him to join~!" Hawaii skipped ahead, still strangling/dragging Prussia along, ignoring his gasps and need for air. "Mini Japan" got up and followed, his strange traditional socks padding along the floor softly. They entered the sunny and spacious living room where Texas and some random kid, their supposedly new member, sat. The new guy looked like some British French fusion. He had France's light blond hair and blue eyes, but it was messy and it was also cut sloppily. A English scowl adorned his face. Texas raised a hand. "Howdy. We're gathered here to day to-"

"You make sound like a marriage will take place." A amused and low voice interrupted, and Prussia jumped, since it was the first time "Mini Japan" had spoken in his presence. Mini Japan smirked and bowed. "Hello. I am the Hawaiian Islands." Prussia blinked and turned to Hawaii. "Then who-?"

"I'm Traditional Hawaii." She explained. Prussia blinked. "...Oh. Then why-?"

"One fourth of Hawaii's population is Asian-American. Hawaii has the second largest amount of Japanese-Americans." The Hawaiian Islands explained.

"...Do I have to call you the Hawaiian Islands? That's not the awesomest name."

"You may call me _Shima-ko (Island child)_ if you wish."

"...'Kay." Texas cleared his throat. "Anyway, today Conner has agreed to join us. Ain't that swell?" Hawaii clapped her hands happily. "Now all we have to do is get Cali to join!"

"...Wait, Cali? That crazy mini Spain that Toni hates?"

"Yes. She was a republic for 22 days."

"..._Seriously?_"

"Yes."

"...Twenty two _days?_"

"...Sadly, yes."

"..."

"Anyway, Conner, ya know the Hawaiis," Texas said, gesturing to them, and 'Conner' smiled and nodded. "and this is Prussia." He nodded, smirking. "Nice to meet you. We shall have fun in pranking the soul of the unworthy." Prussia's eyebrows shot up. This kid...he grinned. This would be fun.

"So, did Uncle Matt really go beserker on the nations last week?"

"Yep."

"Hmmm...Was it hot?"

"_Beyond_."

"Cool. I'm Vermont, by the way."

* * *

America was confused. For this meeting, everyone was acting really weird. For one, England kept glancing between him and Prussia with a look of ultimate betrayal on his face. America hardly interacted with Prussia, except when he came over and trained his soldiers during the Revolution and left a great impact on a certain state.

Reason two, everyone was noticing Mattie. It was kinda freaking America out. Hell, it was freaking _Canada_ out. While he wished more people would notice him, having everyone do it at once was strange. America must've missed something while he went to the vending machine last meeting.

* * *

Canada fidgeted. He didn't remember exactly what he did when he was drunk (he never really did) but he remembered breaking glass and feeling strong and stress relieved. Which meant he must've beat up some people. Kumajirou squirmed, when Canada's grip tightened. Gah, being noticed was so _freaky_. And there was that feeling again. Someone was staring at him quite intensely. It felt like he was being undressed with someone's eyes. And it _wasn't France!_ What the hell was going on?

* * *

Prussia stared at Canada hungrily. His dark red eyes drilled into the timid Canadian, mentally ripping off every shred of clothing with vigor. Gott, he was gorgeous. And that "Vinland" display...Prussia licked his lips. He seriously needed to claim Mattie's vital regions. His delicious, hot vital regions...

* * *

America saw Prussia eying Mattie like he was a piece of particularly juicy meat. He sighed and mentally wished his twin(?) brother luck. He would need it.

* * *

_MapleLuvr14: You __**rly**__ need to claim Uncle Matt's vital regions._

_Awesome5meters: U think I dont know that?_

_MapleLuvr14: Im serious! B4 the Nordics get involved!_

_Awesome5meters: Who says the Nordics will get involved?_

_MapleLuvr14: He spoke __**Norse**__ man._

_Awesome5meters: ...Crap._

_MapleLuvr14: BTW, I'm going to barge into ur meeting now._

_Awesome5meters: Wat-?_

"Hey! How's it going?" Prussia looked up from his texting to see Vermont in all his British/French glory. "'Sup Prussia!" Prussia waved. "Yo! Wassup?" The French and British boy smirked, and bore a scary resemblance to France. "Just spreading _l'amour._" He said casually and Prussia raised an eyebrow. "No, seriously."

"Oh, seriously? Came to drop off some files." Vermont said briskly and Prussia shook his head. Man, that kid was bipolar. Vermont grinned again and trotted over to America. "_Bonjour._ I came to drop off files, as I said." America rolled his eyes. "Thanks, you bipolar child." He said teasingly and Vermont scowled. "Shut up git."

"You do realize you're only proving my point right?"

"Shut up." Vermont pouted. "It's not my fault England and France decided to get drunk and do questionable things that no one wants to think about!" Hungary perked up. "...Mostly." America sighed and smiled fondly at his second adopted son, and reached out and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, yeah, you England France Love Child you." England spasmed. "_**WHAT?" **_He shrieked in utter terror. _No. No. Please God, __**no.**_ He silently begged to the heavens but the heavens apparently hated his guts with a passion since the kid turned around, revealing French blond hair and blue eyes, but thickish British eyebrows with his customary English scowl. "What?"

"You-how- _**WHY GOD, WHY?" **_England screamed in despair, falling to his knees, sobbing. France just kinda stood there in a numb stupor. "...What?" He asked dumbly. Vermont coughed. "Well, I was part of New France, but than England kicked his ass and I became British territory." he explained, an air of (English) social awkwardness surrounding him. "I was born from the two merging cultures that formed my land. Then, you know, became my own nation, joined the U.S. and all that." He waved a hand dismissively. "You know the story. ...Actually, you probably don't," He said thoughtfully, "you all _suck_ at American history."

None of the nations could really deny that, sadly.

"...Uh, is he okay?" He asked, pointing to the weeping England. America winced and slowly approached the crying country. "In time." he said sagely, scooping up the hysterical England, "In time." America then cuddled England like he was a baby as he bawled into America's shoulder, choking out, "Why, God? _**WHY?"**_ America grimaced. Poor England. France collapsed into his seat heavily. _Mon Dieu,_ He thought dully_, I'm a __**father**__. With __Angleterre._

France would be utterly shocked later when he met the Louisiana Territory, but let us focus on Vermont.

Spain was growing concerned. France wasn't blinking. Prussia was laughing his ass off. England was sobbing his heart out in America's arms.

The nations, for once, as one world, firmly decided that these states were the scariest things since American hamburgers.

Vermont strolled off, tossing Prussia a bottle of what looked like maple syrup, to his delight, and turned back to the nations at the door. He winked, his French side kicking back in, purred, "_Adieu, Mes chères pays (Farewell, my dear nations).__" _and blew them a kiss before striding away, several monarch butterflies following him out breezily.

All the nations gaped and then stared at the sobbing England in America's arms. America coughed, rubbing England's back as he hiccuped.

"Uh, meeting adjourned."

* * *

**A/N: So yes, Vermont was it's own nation for a while. Isn't that awesome? Though I think he might've broke England...  
**

**Vermont was part of New France, but like I said, France got his ass kicked by England and Vermont became British territory. There were some boarder issues and colonist from New Hampshire Grants (cities now located in Vermont) broke off and became their own nation. They declared independence on January 18, 1777 and for the first six months were called 'New Connecticut'. On June 2, 1777 they adopted the name Vermont. On July 4, 1777 they drafted their Constitution and it was accepted on July 8. The Constitution abolished slavery, provided universal male suffrage, and demanded support of public schools. Basically, Vermont knew what needed to get done, and knew how to _do it._**

**They weren't really involved in the Revolutionary war, not being one of the Original 13. Vermont is part of New England though.**

**Vermont had it's own coinage system and postal system. It was it's own nation for 14 years, and joined the U.S. Union in 1791 as the 14th state and the first state that was outside the Original 13.**

**Due to the extremely conflicting nature of his parents, Vermont is kinda bipolar, going from suave Frenchman, to scowling Brit in a matter of seconds. Also, in actuality (not just History and Hetalia) Vermnot's top two ancestry groups are French/French Canadian (23.9%) and English (18.6%). **

**His state butterfly is the Monarch butterfly and Vermont produces the most Maple syrup in the U.S.**

**"Mini Japan" represents the islands of Ni'ihau, Kaua'i, O'ahu, Moloka'i, Lana'i, Kaho'olawe, and Maui, his acutal name being The Hawaiian Islands. "Hawaii" represents Hawaii (The Big Island) and her acutal name is The Traditional Island of Hawaii, representing all of Ancient Hawaiian culture. "Mini Japan" is the part of Hawaii that pushed to become a U.S. state and was extremely pro-modernization. Pearl Harbor, O'ahu was bombed during WWII on December 7, 1941, which _really _pissed "Mini Japan" (who will now be referred to as Shima-ko) off.**

**Review!**


	15. The Virginia Twins

**A/N: Writers block SUCKS. A LOT.**

**Still don't own Hetalia.**_**  
**_

_**Meeting #13: Oh, you just HAD to be independent, didn't you?**_

_**You...I...well...SHUT UP!**_

"It's not funny!" America protested against the laughter. They disagreed.

"Y-Yes it is!" New Jersey choked through his mirthful tears. Nebraska pounded the table, hooting with laughter. "I-I can't believe it!" He gasped, and turned to the smug Vermont. "You're the _man,_ Conn."

"But of course, _mon cher._"

"I'm serious, guys!" America yelled, "I think you broke Iggy!"

"Why the bloody hell should we care?"

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO BE BIPOLAR CONNER!"

"Whatever." America sighed, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "We have to counter this guys," he groaned, "He's the freaking UK. He's important and stuff." The states grumbled their reluctant agreement, shifting dishearteningly. "Okay, fine," Kansas muttered, "But how-?"

"Hello, did we miss anything?" They all turned to the new arrivals. America grinned (evilly). "Perfect." The male teen turned his head to his uneasy female companion.

"I think we missed something."

"No shit, wanker."

* * *

"This is bloody stupid." Virginia snapped at America, sitting in her chair in a very dignified manner, arms folded over her chest. West Virginia was more relaxed, and had his head propped in his hands, elbows weighing on the table. He had to agree with his sister though. "I don't see how this will help." He admitted, and a electric blue bunny with small wings popped out of his knapsack. "What's going on?" It asked in a squeaky but adorable voice, and West Virginia sighed. "Dad's roped us into another harebrained scheme." He frowned. "Hey...when did you sneak in there Lightning?"

Because like _Hell_ was West Virginia going to name his magical familiar 'Flying -insert color/plant/fruit/etc.- Bunny'. That was just plain stupid.

"You two seemed down, so we came along," said his sister's familiar that was hovering over her shoulder, Flying Lavender Bunny.

Sadly, Virginia didn't see how stupid Flying -insert color/plant/fruit/etc.- Bunny sounded. Shame.

West Virginia sighed. Man, being the legacy (or whatever the hell they were) of the United Kingdom was a lot of work. He and Virginia just _had_ to be the first colony, didn't they? And their name! God, if West Virginia had a nickel for every time he was teased about being a virgin...

His (former) twin sister huffed, petting FLB. West Virginia could only thank the almighty lord that he didn't inherit Mum's personality, despite that Virginia had been spared of the ridiculous eyebrows and he, quite unfortunately, hadn't. West sighed. Even though he was spared of the British attitude (most of the time) he still got the short end of the stick. The really, really short end.

West Virginia's ears perked when he heard low mumbling that was getting steadily louder and louder. "Oh. They're coming." Virginia snorted. "About time." West rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

"...See, _this _is why I left, you insufferable git!"

"SAY WHAT?"

"Uh, guys-?" America tried to calm the Virginias down, but, as usual, failed. As the nations entered, they were still yelling at each other, and America was just sitting off to the side, head buried in his hands.

The nations entered to see the strange (and more frequent as of late) scene of teenagers yelling. They all blinked. Okay, they had seen weird things (mostly of unspeakable nature) these last few days, but _dude._

"England...I think you should see this," France said distantly and England flinched from him. "Why?" He squeaked and France, not taking his eyes off the scene, forcibly dragged him to viewing range. "Get off me you...stupid..." England gaped, along with everyone else.

I mean, you would two if you saw an identical copy of yourself fighting with a identical female copy of yourself.

"YOU KNOW WHAT ALSO SUCKS ABOUT YOU!" The boy yelled, pointing at the girl, "YOUR BLACK MAGIC IS ABSOLUTE CRAP!"

"YOURS IS TOO!"

"YEAH, BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T NAME MY MAGICAL FAMILIAR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS _FLYING __**LAVENDER**__ BUNNY!_ THAT'S EVEN STUPIDER THAN FLYING _**MINT **_BUNNY! I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE!"

"YOU DAMN WANKER! YOU'RE SO INDECISIVE!" The girl screamed back, her fists balled and trembling with rage, her face contorted the exact same way England's did when he was angry, "WHEELING OR CHALESTON! MAKE UP YOUR BLOODY MIND!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK MORE! YOU AND YOUR STUPID INDEPENDENCE!" The boy threw his hands up in the air. "Oh, here we go. AGAIN."

"We were fine as twins, but _nooooo_. You just _**had**_ to be your own state, didn't you?"

"Well, sor-ry for feeling smothered!" The boy yelled. "The way you were acting back then, you might as well as been Mum's apprentice and called yourself the bloody Virginian Empire!"

"YOU BLOODY SON OF A BITCH!" The girl roared and pounced on the boy and they toppled to the floor in a flurry of flailing and attacking limbs. America sighed and made his way over to them and carefully pried them apart. "Easy, easy!" He yelled over their struggling. "What have I said about fighting! ...in public, anyway."

"HE/SHE STARTED IT!" A vein twitched in America's forehead. "I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT, 'CAUSE I'M FINISHING IT!" He turned to the mini England. "Arthur, no teasing about the hypothetical 'Virginian Empire'!" He whirled on the girl. "Virginia, no bringing up the West Virginia Secession! Are we clear?" The two huffed, and turned their backs to each other. "Fine."

"Whatever." America rubbed his temples. "What am I going to do with you two..."

Silence. Then-

"Flying Lavender Bunny is still a stupid name."

"Hey! No insulting magical familiar names _until_ we get home!"

"Hmph." The boy snorted and blew a puff of air at his blond hair. America slumped, exhausted and the Virginias felt guilty. Their fighting really _did _take it's toll on Dad. Especially after West split off. Virginia _really _knew how to hold a grudge; _No thanks to Mum_, West thought, shaking his head and patting his father on the shoulder. "Uh, sorry about that Dad," he said awkwardly, giving his sister a pointed stare, who glared at him with hard emerald eyes, but they softened seeing America's down form. "I suppose we were acting a...bit childish." She muttered, and the boy rolled his eyes. _Must resist the urge to strangle, must resist the urge to strangle..._

"...What she said." _Resist. Resist. C'mon, man, __**resist. **_Lightning flew around his shoulders anxiously, and Flying Lavender Bunny flitted around Virginia's. They glared at each other; the thick bitter tension oozing from them couldn't even be cut by their sharpest bayonets. America sighed, and although it went against all instincts, he decided to use his usual method to break the tension.

"You guys want some tea?"

Tension immediately diffused.

* * *

France stared. China stared. Germany stared. England was slightly comatose from a strange combination of shock and bliss.

It was rather weird, seeing two mini Englands sipping tea contentedly and chatting with America and occasionally speaking to some invisible or nonexistent creature that they called "Lightning" or "Flying Lavender Bunny" and the girl even mentioned a "Sparkles".

West pet Sparkles the Unicorn fondly while inhaling the jasmine tea fumes. Ah, that was the good stuff~. Virginia hummed a bit, stroking the soft fur of FLB. "I think that Mum might be a tad comatose." West turned to England and agreed. "He _does _look slightly unconscious." He agreed easily. "Maybe we should give him a revival potion." Virginia began riffling through her purse. "On it."

England twitched and choked as something foul and herbal was poured down his throat. "ACK!" He coughed as the liquid slid down his air pipe uncomfortably. "Bloody-!"

"Well, looks like Mum is awake." England blinked groggily. "Eh?" He looked up confusedly (and a little pissed) and opened his mouth to yell at the idiots that decided it would be a great idea to pour disgusting poison (in taste) down his throat. He got out a strangled coughing noise instead when his emerald green eyes met two identical pairs, looking at him quizzically. "'Bout time. Good thinking in bringing the potion." Little Lady England raised an eyebrow. "What about your collection?"

"...Yeah...about that...I mean, I _totally_ didn't get drunk a few nights ago and tried (and epically failed) in cursing New Hampshire, causing a explosion that damaged a good chunk of my herbs and remedies. Totally."

"_What?"_

"Weren't you listening, Dad? I said I totally _didn't_ do that. So, what else you got?"

"It's '_What else do you have_' poppet. And not much. Revival, energy, relief for menstrual cramps...

"..."

"...What?"

"...We didn't need to know that, Gin. We really didn't."

"You asked, wanker."

"...I really need to get battered."

"..."

"...You have whiskey in your purse, don't you?"

"..."

"...Ace, gimme."

"ARTHUR JONES KIRKLAND!"

"_What?"_

"YOU'RE UNDER EIGHTEEN!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"He's not."

"YOU'RE _PHYSICALLY_ UNDER EIGHTEEN!"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! HAVE YOU SEEN HOW WASTED NEVADA GETS ON SATURDAYS? DO YA KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THE GUY HAS BEEN MARRIED? 'CUZ I DON'T!"

"I don't know. He and his last husband were a rather cute item."

"His last wife was a real bitch though."

"True. That AC/DC bastard." The Virginias shook their heads fondly, while America facepalmed. Then frowned. "Wait. Nevada got married? Again?"

"Oh yeah. Last week." Mini Male England said casually, waving a hand dismissively, his other hand petting 'air'. "I think he got it annulled though." His phone dinged, and Little Lady England snatched it out of his pocket. She read the text aloud. "Hey West. Got married again, need witness for court meeting. Love, Nevada." She blinked. "Are you kidding?"

"That man whore."

"He's not-!"

"Dad. Come on."

"..."

"Well," Mini Man England said, standing up to his full average height. "This has been fun, but I gotta bail out Nevada."

"It's _got to. _Learn English." Little Lady England snapped. Mini Man England cleared his throat, "" He blinked innocently to the pissed off Little Lady England. "Oh sorry, did you hear something?" He cackled as he dodged the cup thrown at him as he ran out of the room, Lightning (not that anyone besides England and Virginia could see) followed him out, as did Sparkles the Unicorn. Virginia's eyebrow twitched as she sat back down huffily, grabbing her tea cup and muttering mutinously. "Stupid, independence declaring bastard. Seceding from _me_, after I led his ass to victory..." America face palmed.

"My _GOD_," Scotland groaned, "There's ANOTHER one." Ireland nodded in agreement, one arm slung around Northern Ireland. "Like the world needs another England." N. Ireland shook her head sadly.

England sat there, staring at his (dare he think it?) daughter, and kindred spirit. _Please god, be a kindred spirit._ England didn't think he could handle another Vermont. He really didn't. England decided he should probably tune into the conversation.

"...SCREW YOU, YOU STUPID FROG! I'M NOT A BAD COOK! I'M JUST DOING IT ON PURPOSE! ...For some reason, that I will think of in just a moment."

England, for the first time in centuries, heard the beautiful sounds of the Hallelujah chorus.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, British slang. How very strange you are (to an American).**

**Battered: The American equivalent of, "Dude, lets totally get wasted, man!" Only more refined, cuz it's, you know, _British._**

**Ace:** **The American equivalent of "Sweet" or "Righteous"**

**AC/DC: A term for homo/bisexuals.**

**I got these slang terms from the wonderful internet, so if you're British, have lived in Britain, or have a random knowledge of British slang, please tell me if I got these wrong or used them offensively/improperly. Thanks!**

**Flying Mint Bunny is said to be England's familiar; so naturally West Virginia and Virginia have their own brightly colored flying rabbits. Lightning is (neon) blue and Flying Lavender Bunny (FLB) is a light purple, as indicated by the name.**

**West Virginia and Virginia have a unicorn. BECAUSE I CAN. And yes, the know magic. ONCE AGAIN: BECAUSE I CAN.  
**

**West Virginia and Virginia are technically twins (same egg, biology, blah blah blah), but due to West splitting off, they have different birthdays (June 20 (West) and June 25 (Virginia)). Virginia laments over this and how they are no longer 'twin' siblings anymore.**

**West tells her to suck it up, get over it, and that she's WAY too much like England (W. Virginia got really pissed one time, and started the 'Virginian Empire' nickname, a (hopefully obvious) play on the 'British Empire'). This, naturally, really pissed Virginia off. Which leads to them fighting. A lot.**

**During the Civil War, Virginia was a major player in the Confederacy. West Virginia was like..."yeah, I feel your pain about the whole slave thing, but I don't wanna leave". Virginia was then like, "Hell if I'm sticking around here! We're leaving!" West Virginia then gave her a blank stare (with a very thick raised eyebrow), packed his stuff, and left their house to join the union (and become an independent state). This led to a complicated and eerily familiar one-one showdown between the two. Words like 'brother' and 'independent' were thrown out, creating many parallels to England and America that they really prefer not to think about.**

**But seriously, the secession of West Virginia was complicated and messy. And (according to wikipedia) there have been some debates to whether W. Virginia can (constitutionally and what not) be considered a state. It's rather complicated and I assume it involves a lot of paperwork.**

**George Washington (that REALLY REALLY important guy from the Revolutionary War that became our first president) was from Virginia. As said, he was REALLY important. He led our sorry under trained at the time American colonist asses to victory multiple times**. **Anyway, the guy was from Virginia (Virginia Virginia), so in a way, Virginia did lead W. Virginia's ass to victory.**

**Nevada gets married. A lot. And yes, I made him bi. Ironic, since its New England that's all "Gay marriage? If that's the way you swing, go nuts ;D!" But I think it works for him.**

**Alcoholism is everywhere people. Think before ya drink! ...Or something along those lines.**

**W. Virginia is, quite unfortunately, named Arthur (Jones) Kirkland II. This is because America was still pretty infatuated (and still is, but more mature about it and thus in present times would no way in hell think about naming his kid Arthur Kirkland II) with England as well as West looking exactly like the guy. Poor bastard.**

**Virginia lucked out, and her actual human name is Virginia. Virginia Jones Kirkland. Virginia Dare, was actually the first child born to English parents in the Americas (what Virginia was (humanly) named after), as well as an English author ("Hey, whaddya know!" coincidence).  
**

**'Till next time! (Review please!)**


	16. Pennsylvania:Taste the awesome, world

**A/N: The long awaited chapter is here! Brace yourselves for the awesomeness! ...Or something.**

**I don't own Hetalia. At all. In any way shape or form._  
_**

_**Chapter 16: 'Cuz it's the fucking awesome me! Keshesheshe~**_

_**...OH. DEAR. GOD.**_

There are two stories to the birth of Pennsylvania.

One is Pennsylvania's story. That the universe was so lacking in _awesome_ that God put the need and drive in her parents to do the nasty and bring her pure mother fucking awesomeness into this cruel, bitter world.

America's story is simpler. And more believable.

His story?

He was drunk.

_Really_ drunk.

And to a really drunk bisexual man (because come _on_), Prussia was a good and convenient choice as a fuck buddy. I mean, he was...and he...uh...

...Well, remember people: emphasis on the _really drunk_ part.

* * *

America totally called it. Hell, West called it. The entire _United States_ called it.

England was one of those dad's that liked to spoil the living crap out of their 'princess' daughters.

Of course, he didn't have many daughters (and Elizabeth hated his guts with a fiery passion that rivaled the passion of Spain's love of tomatoes and Romano) so really, the entire 13 knew that if he ever met Virginia, she would be Daddy England's little girl.

And considering how similar they were, and that England cried tears of joy and glomped her happily whilst sobbing how pretty and well mannered she was when they first met, it was a given.

America blinked patiently at England, who was talking to him (not that he was listening, really).

"...Yes, well, you _did_ say she was 17, correct?...but I missed her childhood completely..." England mumbled to himself, examining the finely crafted Victorian era china doll. It was lovely, and came with it's own little parasol and a lacy lavender sunhat with white silk. It was a freaking piece of art, and thus God knows how expensive it was. "Would she like it? If _I _was a girl I would like it..."

"Um..." Flashes of Virginia as a kid, covered in mud and grime with a musket in hand, yelling and screaming at her red clad enemies rolled through his memory like a old time movie. "Well...she _has_ settled down a bit." Oh boy, was _that _an underestimate. After California (obliviously) stole Virginia's throne and crown as the powerhouse of America, the Confederacy collapsed, and West built his own house in his new territory, Virginia laid low and focused on becoming a 'proper lady'. "She'd probably think it's cute." That, and Virginia liked shiny things. They called her the 'Virginian Empire' for a _reason_. "Dude, we're gonna be late. Just buy the doll."

As England bought the fragile doll, America thought bought on his original 13. He smiled fondly. Such good kids...

A loud cocky (yet strangely endearing) laugh and gleaming red irises flashed through his mind.

...Well, they were mostly good kids at any rate. America frowned.

"I've got a bad feeling about something."

* * *

Pennsylvania was awesome (self proclaimed). She really was. She smirked and leaned back on the legs of America's chair and let the D.G. Yuengling & Son brand beer slide down her throat. It was an old company, but it was hers, not to mention a classic. Hence, it was awesome due to her unquestionable awesomeness. I mean, she made Hershey's chocolate.

Bam. Awesomeness established.

Gillbird chirped and Pennsylvania glanced around carefully. _Vati_ was always so uptight about this, but he wasn't here...

"Don't tell anyone, 'kay Gill?" She whispered conspiratorially, and dripped a few drops of her beer into her faithful companion's beak. Gillbird tweeted in affirmative. The Keystone state grinned her trademark Prussia/Pennsylvania grin and stuck a cigarette in her mouth. She lit it just as the nations entered the room.

The nations gaped. Austria paled. Hungary twitched. Germany may have started crying a little.

Her grin turned feral and she let out her infamous "Pennsylvania" laugh. She blew a stream of smoke in their direction like a kiss. "_Hallo_, nations," she purred, grinning insanely, swinging her silver skinny slinky around her index finger. "enjoying the motherfucking awesome view that is the awesome me?"

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry people. There's more coming. With a plot twist :D**

**D.G. Yuengling & Son**: **America's oldest brewery, located in Pennsylvania. Yeah...Pennsylvania is pretty Prussian/German. _Really _Prussian/German.**

**Hershey's Chocolate: Located and originated in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania also made Mars Bars, Mike and Ike's, and Peeps as well as many, _many_ other addictive snack foods. She has been called the Snack Capital of America. The state toy (unofficial) is the slinky.  
**

**The Prussia laugh: Kesesesese~**

**The Pennsylvania laugh: Kesheshseshe~**

**Gillbird (Jill-bird): A Ruffed Grouse (the state bird)**

**Review, my pretties. Review~**


	17. Penn 2:The musical side of the moon

**A/N: Told you there was more.**_**  
**_

_**Chapter 17: Hey, being Pennsylvania is hard work! Fighting, drinking, being awesome...**_

_**...Nah, never mind. It's not hard. It's just awesome.**_

…

_**Prussia, I'm going to **_**kill****_ you. ...Oh, wait. Scratch that. Austria, I am going to _kill _you. Kill you _good_._**

The world stared. Pennsylvania stared back, still wearing a shit eating grin, cigarette resting luxuriously in her fingers. She slowly took a drag, not breaking eye contact, and exhaled. _Ah, that's the awesome stuff_. She propped her (awesome) black booted feet on the table and leaned back on the chair's legs again. America forced his way to the front of the flabbergasted group and frowned.

"Gillian, what are you doing- _Are you __**smoking**__, young lady?_" 'Gillian' rolled her ruby red eyes, and took her feet off the conference table, letting the chair legs slam into the ground loudly. "Yeah. So? Gotta problem, _Vater?" _She smirked, watching the American's eyebrow twitch angrily. Man, she loved calling him _Vater. _His reaction was hilarious. Especially since he _always_ compared it to be called-

"FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP CALLING ME VADER!" Fucking. P_riceless_.

"Whatever, dude." Another lazy drag.

"PUT THE CIGARETTE OUT! WE'RE IN THE UN BUILDING!"

"Meh."

"GILLIAN MARIA BEILSCHMIDT, PUT THE DAMN CIGARETTE OUT! **NOW!"**

"**...**geez, America. NOT awesome." The pale girl droned boredly, rubbing the white stick of cancer out on one of the portable ashtray things. "I'm perfectly legal."

"We're in the UN BUILDING!"

"So? Like I'm gonna let _that_ restrain my awesome. Not like that's possible." She muttered. Gillbird cheeped. "Well said." Pennsylvania agreed. America massaged his temples in frustration. Gillian, out of all his kids, was the most troublesome. Gillian stood up and sauntered over to her father. Gillian may be an arrogant state, but when it came to her looks, she rarely exaggerated.

Yeah, she was just _that_ hot.

Her female 'siblings' (their family was pretty loose genetic wise; no one was really sure how it worked) often compared her to a demon.

Her 'brothers' often compared her to a siren. Or in Nevada's case; a crazy bitch with fabulous hair.

Sultry smirk, pale (almost white) skin and dangerous red eyes reeled you in, while her shiny waist length silver hair made her seem unreal and supernatural. She always wore shoes with a heel, which accented her already long legs and swaying hips.

And if you asked her (and every male (and some lesbians lingering in the area) around) she had a pretty nice ass.

Her boot heels clicked on the shiny floor and she stopped several inches from America. "'Sup America?" America scowled. "It's _Dad_." Pennsylvania snorted. "Please. Like that's gonna fly. I'm only a year younger than you. Dumbass." America's eye twitched. He reached into his coat and pulled out a tape recorder. "Don't make me do it Gillian." Her eyes widened, and Gillbird squawked in alarm. She hastily backed away. "You wouldn't. NOT AWESOME!"

"Behave."

"Screw that!"

"I'll count to three."

"Are you kidding me-?"

"One." America raised a finger over the play button.

"No fucking way! I'm way too awesome to follow your unawesome rules-"

"Two."

"No!"

America sighed. "Three." He clicked the play button.

"SHIT!"

The nations weren't sure what to expect from this strange and rather intense showdown. All they knew was that this girl was clearly Prussia's offspring.

However, they _**weren't**_ expecting the soft notes of Chopin's Nocturne. They blinked, and shared glances of confusion and cocked heads. They turned back to the American duo to see the girl they deducted was Pennsylvania was hunched over, long white hair covering her face in shadow. 'Gillbird' was rather quiet as well, perched perfectly still on her shoulder. Suddenly, her shoulders jerked, and she straightened. She was...different. Very...Un-Prussia like. Her posture was perfect, stance casual but elegant.

She was not smiling.

A dignified, haughty expression adorned her face now. She let out an irritated sigh, reaching into her black waistcoat breast pocket. "Really America," she huffed in a completely controlled, cool voice that reminded the nations of someone (they were a little terrified to know who), and pulled out a pair of glasses. "You completely overrated the situation. No matter how troublesome my other self can be, overrating the situation is never an option. Fool."

...Overrating the situation?

...Glasses? That she _doesn't_ need and only wears for show?

...Aristocratic attitude?

...No way. NO. FUCKING. WAY.

"Honestly, have more class." The (Austrian? Prussian? Dear lord, what the fuck was she?) sniffed.

America sighed. "Prussian or Austrian, I just can't win."

"Leave that immature brat of my other personality out of this. How we are the same person is beyond me. She has no appreciation for the piano. It's awful."

"...Sure."

"Hmpf." By this time, her long hair had been pulled into a elegant, loose bun (when did she do that?) and was looking over sheets of music (when the _hell_ did she get that?). "Well, I was curious to meet your colleagues. You complain about them so much; I was intrigued. Though I'm not quite sure what you see in England. I assume it's the accent." America buried his bright red face in his hands as Gillian breezed by. He forgot that while this side of Gillian was well mannered and behaved (by normal standards of society), she was very easy going and painfully blunt. Gillian strode through the group of nations as they parted numbly to make way for her like the Red Sea. Her boots clicked as she shouldered her way into a deep purple coat (_Where _the hell did _that_ come from?) and turned to the right after exiting the room.

"Other way Gillian."

She strode quickly past the doorway again. "My bad."

"..." She poked her head back in the room.

"Um...America..."

"I'll call a cab."

"My apologies. I'm simply no good with directions."

"...Of course you aren't."

"DAMMIT SPECS, WHAT THE _FUCK_ DID YOU DO TO MY KID? !"

* * *

**A/N: ...Hee hee. I love Pennsylvania. She's such a badass.**

**The smoking: Whether Pennsylvanians smoke a lot is beyond me, but I made her a smoker because she's Prussia kid; and hence likes fighting (war) a lot. She goes to the front line often in battle, and developed an addiction of smoking from her fellow soldiers. She is (physically) 18 and thus can buy and smoke legally pretty much wherever she goes.**

**She is older than Virginia because while she was born later, religious tolerance wise, abolition wise, and the fact that the Declaration of Independence was signed in her territory (Philadelphia) she advanced a lot quicker than other states. Seriously, Pennsylvania was quick to adapt radical (at the time) policies. A good majority (at first) of her people were Quakers, so pre-Revolution she was calm and peaceful. Then she actually fought, and realized how freakin' fun it was. Hence, her Prussian side was unleashed.**

**She is a good fighter and strategist, but tends to get carried away in battle. The most violent bloody battle of all US history (The Battle of Gettysburg: Civil War) was fought on her land. She won too. Scary.**

** Gillian has Multiple Personality Disorder (The plot twist mentioned in previous chapter). This is because while Gillian is Prussia's only child, she also has (according to wikipedia) the highest Austrian population of all of the United States except California and New York, but they don't really count (and Pennsylvania's music scene is pretty important and infamous too). She's also has a pretty high population of Hungarians too, but that personality only comes out when she's drunk and sees two guys making out. Her Austrian personality, which is pretty disdainful of her dominant Prussian personality, is triggered when Gillian hears Chopin's Nocturne. She developed it sometime between WWI and WWII, when they all started coming over for opportunity and to flee from Nazi Germany (Austria became part of the German Empire sometime before WWII broke out, can't remember exact date).  
**

**Pennsylvania likes cute things (especially birds). That's why she was the first out of the United State family to have her very own zoo (Philadelphia Zoo: The nation's first) and Pittsburgh's National Aviary.**


	18. Omake: Texting Texas says WHAT!

**A/N: So, as you may have guessed, I don't get out much (It's a Tuesday around 6:00 and I'm writing FF. Not too hard to figure out), so I don't know much about the states except really old (and possibly outdated) stereotypes ****and things I find on wikipedia. DeiDeiArtistic, this one's for you~ Thanks for pointing out my gap in knowledge about The Lone Star State. If you point out a gap in my knowledge about the states I may do an omake to fill said gap, so have fun! **_**  
**_

_**Omake: ...Wait, what?**_

Texas snickered at the flustered and spazzing text Prussia sent him in response to his own text about nailing Canada. Man, those two needed to get laid.__

__California (why, _why_ did she come over to his place. She _scared _him! With her flamboyant Bay Area and occasional lack of bra...Ugh) leaned over his shoulder and read his text. She beamed ecstatically. "Wow! You ship PruCan? !"

He blinked. "...You made a shipping name for them?"

"Hell yeah! Man, I'm surprised dude-" Que twitching eye at the word 'dude' "I didn't think you had it in you! Glad you're finally seeing the light!"

...What?

"What?" Texas asked, totally confused. "What does that even _mean_?" California grinned lazily, and Texas feared (accurately) that she may be high. Damn 60's.

"The man on man love, dude!"

...

...

...

"Huh?"

"Canada and Prussia yaoi love, man. Oh, _excelente_! You can help me get Germany and Italy together next! _Tan lindo, sí?"_

"...Wait, isn't Canada a chick?"

"..."

"..."

"...Uh, no. He is not."

"...You mean he's _not_ a scared girl fearing sexual discrimination at the hands of her fellow nations masquerading as a dude to find acceptance in the world of personified countries?"

"Not even in the slightest."

"...Oh. ...Oh god_dammit_."

"...So you don't ship yoai? ...Texas? Why are you bashing your head against the table? Texas? _Amigo?_"

"..."

"...Oh, he's asleep. Huh, a _siesta_ does sound nice...or maybe I could go out and eat some tomatoes!"

-Several Tomatoes Eaten Later-

"Mmmm~ Yummy! Oh, I got tomato juice all over my hands! ...And Texas. Hope he doesn't get too mad-"

"Hey Tex, what's-"

"...Oh hey New Mex-"

"OH MY GOD! YOU _KILLED_ HIM!"

"...Huh?"

* * *

**A/N: Mostly dialogue, I'll let you come to your own conclusions on this one ;D**

**But yes, as DeiDeiArtistic has informed me, the state of Texas is pretty uncomfortable about homosexuality, and Canada's a _pretty _girly dude...have you drawn your conclusions, my dears?**

**Review!**


	19. Omake: Rivalry

**A/N: Apparently the stereotype that Ohio and Pennslyvania hate each other is outdated and dead. It's all about Michigan and Ohio wanting to gouge each other's eyes out now. Hah hah...if you're from Ohio or Michigan, _please_ don't kill me for doing this.**

**Bold is Ohio speaking.**

_Italic is Michigan speaking._

**_Bold Italic is both speaking._  
**

_**Omake: Rivalry**_

They had one blowout. _ONE. _

Sadly, everyone seems to think they hate each other's guts. Really.

I mean, they 'fought' a lot. He called her crazy, and she mocked him for not living up to her 'awesomeness' but they were actually pretty chill. Ohio didn't hate Pennsylvania. They were actually kinda friends. Not friend-friend, but if they run into each other, than maybe they'll got out, flash their fake ID and get a few beers.

Now Michigan was different.

Michigan...god...he _hated_ that bitch.

Always mocking his cities and schools. And just bitching and bitching about his football teams. His football teams were awesome, dammit! Awesome! He went to her house once, and some dude threw a fucking water balloon at him! And when he told her about it, so told him that he was an over exaggerating moron, which is, _apparently,_ why his schools suck so much.

Maybe punching her wasn't the best solution, but fuck, he was pissed.

And what the hell did she mean, "Sweater vest empire built on lies"?

He didn't wear sweater vests!

* * *

Ohio.

She _hated_ Ohio.

That bastard needed to die. With his yuri, and his stupid need to shave all the time because he was _Hungarian_, and that stupid skillet of his. It was actually a frying pan, but she loved calling it a skillet because of how mad that jackass got.

His cities were awful and boring. Nothing but malls and cheap chain restaurants.

He was vulgar and crass and pushed her around like a barbarian. He was always insulting her football team and mocking her for being invisible! It was no surprise that she threw water balloons at him.

His players were bought too. He was always such a stupid suckup that jerk! Her athletes had to work for their positions! They took _real_ classes, unlike those bastards.

* * *

He hated her with every blood cell in his body.

* * *

She hated him with every fiber of her being.

* * *

**And yeah there was that one time-**

* * *

_-where she had that-_

* * *

**-strange and satisfying-**

* * *

_-sexy dream about-_

* * *

**-her. But it was just once-**

* * *

_-or twice-_

* * *

**-a month-**

* * *

_-a week-_

* * *

**-but that didn't-**

* * *

_**-mean anything!**_

* * *

_**...Right?**_

* * *

**A/N: Seriously, Ohioans and Michiganians, please don't kill me, it's just that much hatred must stem from somewhere! Review!**

**Source of information on Ohio-Michigan hatred:  
Matt Singer: So many reasons to hate Ohio State**  
**BY MATT SINGER**  
**Published November 17, 2006**  
**The Michigan Daily**


	20. Arkansas

**A/N: I LIVE! Sorry I've been gone so long, I hit writers block. But I'm back baby!**

_**Chapter 20: Diamonds are a girl's best friend.**_

_**...Don't okay? Just...just don't.**_

"Alright, people." Prussia growled, donned once again in his Prussian blue military uniform. "This is war, and we need a plan of attack." Once of his soldiers raised their hands. "Yes?"

"This is stupid." Shima-ko said bluntly. His twin sister nodded in agreement, eating some weird dish that was unnameable to Prussia. All he knew was that it had poi on it.

"Is this what you guys do?" Mini Toni asked. "'Cuz I'm not joining your club-"

"_League_"

"-if it is. What are you even doing?" Prussia slammed his free fist (the other was holding a riding crop that he was using for a pointer) on his white board. "Dammit people! This is serious! That aristocratic bastard has done something to infect _my_ kid with his Austrian doucheness! He has to pay!" The club members, and California, who was observing the meeting, glanced at each other.

"Well, it's kind of the same right?" Texas said uncertainly. "I mean, I'm sure Austria's pissed, or at the very least disgusted by the fact that the one part of America that's Austrian is truly Prussian at heart." Prussia blinked at him and scowled. "No. He MUST pay."

"Can't we just work on fixing your terrible love life with Canada?" Vermont asked. California perked up considerably. "I second that motion!" She chirped. Texas's eye twitched.

"My love life isn't terrible!" Prussia protested. They stared at him, silently asking him to come out of denial. "It's not!"

"When was the last time you had sex?" Prussia blushed. "That doesn't matter!"

"Yeah." Vermont said solemnly. "Yeah it does." Prussia blanched.

"Yeah, let's just get California to sleep with him and send Prussia into a jealous rage like with Spain and Romano." Hawaii suggested. California pouted. "Hey! I don't want to sleep with Canada! Stop making me seem so slutty! I'm not slutty!"

"Yeah, she's not slutty." Texas agreed grudgingly. "She's just really oblivious with a kink for Asian guys."

"HEY!"

* * *

At the world meeting, Germany was stressed. First, he had to lock Prussia in the basement to prevent him from coming to this meeting and attacking Austria with a paintball gun, and now everyone was talking and he couldn't get anyone to get started because his throat was sore from yelling at Prussia to not attack Austria with the goddamn paintball gun.

Germany turned to America. "Are we going to start the meeting?" America wasn't very focused or anything, but he knew at least how to get people to start the dang things. America shrugged. Germany sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I hate my life. I hate everyone and everything in it, _goddammit._"

America (metaphorically) sweatdropped.

"Um-"

"Mother~! Hello!" America turned, missing the look of absolute terror on Germany's face. America smiled. "Hey, Jean!" He waved.

You see, the reason Germany, and several other nations found this state particularly terrifying of was a simple reason.

The kid looked like France.

A LOT like France.

Like, if France de-aged about 9 years and lost the beard, they'd be practically identical, like France.

Austria nearly screamed. Nearly.

He did, however, let out a very girly squeaking noise.

Hungary readied her frying pan of DOOM (patent pending).

Mini France beamed.

* * *

"Mother! How are ya?" Mini France asked cheerfully, with an accent southern tinged with something else that _could_ have been French or Spanish. "I'm good! You just missed Utah, though." Mini France pouted teasingly. "Aw shucks! That's a shame." Mini France grabbed America's hands and spun them in a circle happily. "I just came from Big Sister's house! Me and West are gonna stay over there tonight! Slumber party~" Mini France said cheerfully. America laughed. "I still think it's amazing that you and Arthur-" England looked over his shoulder from the 'Empire Emo Corner' and blanched at the sight of the little France with America. "-are such good friends!"

"Best friends." Mini France corrected happily, tucking some silky blonde (French) hair behind his ear, revealing four ear piercings. One conventional one in the earlobe, the renaming three through the shell of his ear. All of the earrings were diamonds.

America tsked, fingering the pierced ear. "Jean, really? _Another _one?" 'Jean' huffed. "They're natural, Mother. And diamonds are a girl's best friend."

"...You're a man, Jean. I would know."

Jean stamped his foot lightly. "Moooottttthhhheeeerrr." He whined. America shook his head smiling exasperatedly. "If you didn't wear them, you wouldn't be teased for them. Just saying." The teenager huffed. "They just can't understand my natural beauty."

"Um..." By this point, England was facing them fully (still crouched in the Emo Corner), seething. He turned to France. "I," he hissed in his scariest, most bloodthirsty, British Empire pirate voice, "am going to _kill_ you, you son of a bitch." France turned. "What did I do?" England, grabbed the bastard's (well, England thought he was a bastard) face and forcibly turned it towards America. France blinked. "Oh. So it's not _what_ I did, but _who_ I did." England's hand twitched and began a steady path towards France's throat.

"Besides, whenever the others tease me, I just hang out at my caves for some good ol' happy time. Oh, you're France!" Jean bounded over to the Emo Corner, either ignoring or not sensing the hate waves radiating from the English nation. He was probably just ignoring it. He _could_ actually sense the mood. Acknowledging it just wasn't fun.

"Hi! I'm Jean Bonnefoy, but ya can call me Arkansas if ya want!" Arkansas said cheerfully, pulling France up and giving him a (rather one sided) hug.

"...Okay." France didn't know what else to say in that situation. He felt like it was appropriate. Arkansas smiled, and the nations began to be more at ease seeing the two side by side. It was strange, but with his youth and lack of beard, Arkansas looked innocent and sweet. It was a weird but pleasant change seeing France's handsome face not creepy, perverted and vaguely stalkerish.

"And you're England!" England's eyebrow twitched. "Yes."

It would've been friendly, if the yes hadn't come out strangled and sounded like a demon's hissing from Hell.

"...Your eyes are very pretty."

"PISS OFF-what?" England blinked. "...WHAT?" Arkansas smiled. "Your eyes. They're pretty."

"...Huh?" England sputtered flabbergasted. Arkansas spun on his heels, hands clasped together over his heart, with hearts in his eyes and sparkles twinkling around him. "Oh, they remind me of my darling Virginia's eyes~" Arkansas swooned.

The irritation was back. "...WHAT." England snarled, because HELL NO. France looked intrigued.

"The emeralds that consist of my love's eyes can only be matched from the precious gems found in the deepest portions of the Earth," Arkansas continued obliviously, too focused on his lovestruck rant about the only daughter of England that actually _liked _him, "her beautiful sun kissed wheat hair can be compared to the sensual rolling wheat fields of the American prairie. Her radiant flawless skin has had the sun's breath touch her with the adoring caress of a smitten lover! Her voice is even more seductive and alluring that the vocals of my lovely Amy Lee! A slim and elegant body, perfect in every way! Ah~ such loveliness, I desire to make her all mine!"

During this, all male nations began to back away, seeing a disturbing resemblance to France.

However, all female nations sighed, realizing, in that strange way that men usually couldn't, that this boy was clearly absolutely besotted with the girl he described in a way that was not perverted or creepy, but rather sweet and romantic.

"So romantic!"

"How sweet~"

"That Virginia girl's so lucky to have someone so devoted!"

"If a boy said that to me, I definitely let him occupy _my_ vital regions, if you know what I mean~"

France wiped away a imaginary tear of joy and sniffed. "_Mon fils (My son)_...I'm so proud."

England looked ready to commit a horrible, bloody homicide.

His eyes were narrowed into green slivers, his fists were clenched, and his teeth gnashed together while his body was surrounded by a black aura of death. This brat...wanted Virginia. _His_ little girl? Hell no! England would rather die than see spawn of the _frog_ touch his little princess.

"Over my dead body!" England exploded, the black death(ly) aura surrounding him shooting outwards sporadically in attempt to strangle the French son of America. Arkansas looked over, coming down from his Virginia fantasy high. Arkansas cocked his head innocently. "If that's what it takes to be with her, than I'll gladly do so ya hear?"

The female nations swooned.

France cried (manly?) tears of pride. "So -sniff- learned -sniff- and experienced in the art of love!"

England wished with all his heart and soul that guns were allowed into the UN building.

Lightbulb!

"SWITZERLAND!" England roared to the surprised and protective neutral nation (that was currently shielding Lichtenstein from Arkansas with his entire body). "LEND ME ONE OF YOUR GUNS!" America's mouth dropped open.

"ENGLAND! YOU CAN'T SHOOT MY KID!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT I WILL, IF IT MEANS PROTECTING OUR DAUGHTER'S VITAL REGIONS!"

"YOU'RE NOT SHOOTING JEAN!"

"OUI! NO SHOOTING MY WELL-LEARNED-IN-THE-ART-OF-AMOUR SON!"

Arkansas began to inch towards the exit once they began yelling about shooting him. He gave a brief wave and bow to the ladies in the room (he was a Southern man after all) and slipped silently out the door. He breathed in relief and then sighed heavily.

He began composing a text message.

**AR-kan-Saw25: My darling, Im afraid ur dad doesnt approve of me.**

**PrincessOfTheSEA11: ...Dammit.**

* * *

**A/N: Arkansas everybody!**

**I just love irony with these guys; pairing up the kids of rivaling nations is like candy to me.**

**Arkansas; he's very loyal and stubborn to his beliefs, to the point where sometimes he just won't let go when he really should. He's been in love with Virginia since he first laid eyes on her, proclaiming (on one knee) that he would marry her when they grew up.**

**She kneed him in the stomach.**

**He found this inspiring.**

**During the Civil War, he took her side and provided emotional support when West left. This and a couple more decades of begging convinced her to go out with him. While she constantly threatens to leave him, they both know she's bluffing. However, since he and West Virginia are bros (Yes. They're BFFs/Bros), he has to act as the peacemaker sometimes.**

**He greatly admires his Big Sister Louisiana. They're neighbors. Louisiana is W. Virginia's other BFF. She used to be kinda wary of him, but after they were forced to go to Southhampton together on business and unfortunately won two ticket to the maiden voyage of the ship Titanic and nearly died, they really bonded.**

**They also, much to their horror, inspired the 1997 James Cameron movie when they bumped into him at a cafe.**

**Arkansas has a mixed French and Spanish background, to the point where France and Spain have kinda bitch fought over him. During the time when he was their territory, they had a drinking contest over some forts. Neither really remember the outcome, so said drinking match was totally pointless.**

**Arkansas is pronouced Ar-Kan-saw, which is his screen name. It's actually against Arkansas law to pronounce Arkansas any other way but Ar-kan-saw. He's the 25th state. Diamonds are only mined in Arkansas (in the US) leading to the nickname the natural state. Evanescence's singer, Amy Lee, is from Arkansas. **

**Review!**


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